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05-25-2016, 03:14 PM
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#5 |
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Hyphenated
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: The Black Lodge
Posts: 79
Battle Record: 7-8
Rep Power: 549512   |
Both had rhyme-warped grammar, which disturbs the narrative flow as much as syllable-crammed and uneven lines disturbs the mechanical flow.
Artifice: I liked how you brought it home, it was subtle if a bit emo. Razah: This feels more like the synopsis you hand movie-guy when he's presenting your piece. Vote: Artifice for more cohesively developed piece within limited space. |
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