Week 11: Asylum vs Witty [WITTY 6-1 ADJUSTED 2-1 WIITY]

Inno · 05-19-2016, 08:57 PM

Asylum

Dope piece when it got started. You stumbled a bit for me in the beginning. Also i might be wrong but dreamily is not a word. If so its awkward and misplaced in your scheme. It read wierd. Found a couple of lines like that through out. But i feel like your opening didnt allow me to really get into your piece like i should of. Still a cool read bro.

Witty

Finally you show lol. Man this was cool. The diction and that flow that carries the story from line to line. You have knack for poetic vibes without necessarily crossing that line from verse to poem. You have uber amounts of depth in your writing is what um trying to say. This was beautifully woven within its dictions flow. Smooth read through out.

Overall.

I got witty simply because for me his verse was more consistent from start to finish edging put asylums effort. Dope battle.

05-19-2016, 08:57 PM	#10
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,025 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899403	Asylum Dope piece when it got started. You stumbled a bit for me in the beginning. Also i might be wrong but dreamily is not a word. If so its awkward and misplaced in your scheme. It read wierd. Found a couple of lines like that through out. But i feel like your opening didnt allow me to really get into your piece like i should of. Still a cool read bro. Witty Finally you show lol. Man this was cool. The diction and that flow that carries the story from line to line. You have knack for poetic vibes without necessarily crossing that line from verse to poem. You have uber amounts of depth in your writing is what um trying to say. This was beautifully woven within its dictions flow. Smooth read through out. Overall. I got witty simply because for me his verse was more consistent from start to finish edging put asylums effort. Dope battle.