Week 9 Title Match: (6-1) (c) Timeless vs. (5-1) Artifice (ARTIFICE WINS 4-1)

NYCSPITZ · 05-04-2016, 01:02 PM

Artifice dope verse, I thought the concept was cool. Ending was nice, and it started off tight. I think even though you lost a little momentum IMO toward the last 1/3rd of the verse it still worked. Especially enjoyed the thought about fear morphing into denial - very true my friend. This was accentuated by a line earlier in which you say he wanted a wife with no problems at all. No women will give you no problems at all, that's the man's job to love his woman back into love out of her dark mood. As a man grows, his woman's testing grows, and that's part of life and living into your edge as a man. It seems pretty indicative of the fact that he wanted more play as a youth or a more submissive wife...not taking into account that this is an unreality. In the case of a submissive wife, or rather too submissive, she has low self-esteem and that tends to cloud and warp her man's reality as she doesn't test him as much as he needs to be tested. Men need to live into their edge. The other details were pretty gripping too. Lucid dreaming has always been an interest of mine, so this gets a thumbs up from me...

Timeless it was poignant. Life's one and done until we unlatch the nation...I interpret this sort of as - A young person's perspective is built on limited awareness irrespective of perceived intelligence, because even if a young person is exceptionally bright she lacks the insight that an equally bright person has later in life. It had a really earthy vibe to it that I can kick to. Living hope in the face of other powerful forces which don't mesh with it. Our human urge is toward positive experience but we often don't understand that our subconscious minds fuck with us in this regard. People want the best but don't live the principles necessary to produce the best, because their subconscious mind has been co-opted by years of misleading thought beginning in childhood which breeds inertia and clouds judgement in the present time. Would have loved to see something about her use of the conscious mind, as it controls the subconscious...and how this guard at the gate led to her view of reality. Most people want the dreams in their minds to become reality but their conscious mind is on auto-pilot and not dictating at all the strong emotions that are etched into this wellspring of the subconscious. It was a strong verse, but not as conceptually to the point and fleshed out as Art's.

V/ artifice.

05-04-2016, 01:02 PM	#5
NYCSPITZ SYRACUSE Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,031 Battle Record: 31-37 Champed - Write Night II - Alias Topical Tournament Rep Power: 4743547	Artifice dope verse, I thought the concept was cool. Ending was nice, and it started off tight. I think even though you lost a little momentum IMO toward the last 1/3rd of the verse it still worked. Especially enjoyed the thought about fear morphing into denial - very true my friend. This was accentuated by a line earlier in which you say he wanted a wife with no problems at all. No women will give you no problems at all, that's the man's job to love his woman back into love out of her dark mood. As a man grows, his woman's testing grows, and that's part of life and living into your edge as a man. It seems pretty indicative of the fact that he wanted more play as a youth or a more submissive wife...not taking into account that this is an unreality. In the case of a submissive wife, or rather too submissive, she has low self-esteem and that tends to cloud and warp her man's reality as she doesn't test him as much as he needs to be tested. Men need to live into their edge. The other details were pretty gripping too. Lucid dreaming has always been an interest of mine, so this gets a thumbs up from me... Timeless it was poignant. Life's one and done until we unlatch the nation...I interpret this sort of as - A young person's perspective is built on limited awareness irrespective of perceived intelligence, because even if a young person is exceptionally bright she lacks the insight that an equally bright person has later in life. It had a really earthy vibe to it that I can kick to. Living hope in the face of other powerful forces which don't mesh with it. Our human urge is toward positive experience but we often don't understand that our subconscious minds fuck with us in this regard. People want the best but don't live the principles necessary to produce the best, because their subconscious mind has been co-opted by years of misleading thought beginning in childhood which breeds inertia and clouds judgement in the present time. Would have loved to see something about her use of the conscious mind, as it controls the subconscious...and how this guard at the gate led to her view of reality. Most people want the dreams in their minds to become reality but their conscious mind is on auto-pilot and not dictating at all the strong emotions that are etched into this wellspring of the subconscious. It was a strong verse, but not as conceptually to the point and fleshed out as Art's. V/ artifice. __________________ UNIFIED THEORY Last edited by NYCSPITZ; 05-04-2016 at 01:05 PM.