Week 7: Jesodist vs. Innovator (JESODIST WINS 7-3)

Artifice · 04-19-2016, 10:36 AM

two very different approaches here... i dug the poetic vibe innovator was going for, but i really felt like while it was a cool vibe, it didn't give me enough. While Jesodist could've cut down his verse a bit, his is more complete imo, and it has enough to take the w. If innovator had dropped something a little longer or slightly more complex, it could go the other way.

v/ Jesodist

timeless · 04-19-2016, 11:43 AM

Fatt sajak, solid second stanza, much better than the rift of uncertainty you started us off with. Still not sure how you related to the topic tbh. Def could've came stronger here, seems like you rushed it..

Jesus dust, rhyming for the sake of rhyming with capitals so we don't get lost in what you are rhyming. Got you. This had 2trip written all over it. Not to say your ambition wasn't there it just wasn't achieved.

V. Innovator for more of a complete, less diluted, more enjoyable read.

04-19-2016, 10:36 AM	#1
Artifice Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 269 Battle Record: 17-9 Champed - Art Of Writing League - GWL Picture Challenge Rep Power: 3944949	two very different approaches here... i dug the poetic vibe innovator was going for, but i really felt like while it was a cool vibe, it didn't give me enough. While Jesodist could've cut down his verse a bit, his is more complete imo, and it has enough to take the w. If innovator had dropped something a little longer or slightly more complex, it could go the other way. v/ Jesodist

04-19-2016, 11:43 AM	#2
timeless past tense Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: NJ Posts: 1,623 Battle Record: 22-39 Rep Power: 4341329	Fatt sajak, solid second stanza, much better than the rift of uncertainty you started us off with. Still not sure how you related to the topic tbh. Def could've came stronger here, seems like you rushed it.. Jesus dust, rhyming for the sake of rhyming with capitals so we don't get lost in what you are rhyming. Got you. This had 2trip written all over it. Not to say your ambition wasn't there it just wasn't achieved. V. Innovator for more of a complete, less diluted, more enjoyable read.