Week 6: Symetrik vs. Just Write (JUST WRITE WINS SHUTOUT 7-0)

2tripple0 · 04-12-2016, 03:42 PM

Wow this was not close at all.....symetrik just really didn't put as much effort in as his opponent and really after last week when u shut me out on votes with a verse very similar to this one and although people thought last week was one of my weaker verses I still am confused how people ultimately voted against me....me personally I think you need a lot of work... Ya rhymes were less than favorable and I think u need work on following along to your topic.... OTOH just write came with a verse about a guy named Tommy who is a literary addict whose always got his nose in a book...not the most picturesque of a verse but it still was enough to gratfiy himself with my vote....so yeah....

Vote: just write

Adverse · 04-12-2016, 09:54 PM

Sym, I liked your concept and all but it just feels rushed. I'd like to see how it would have developed if you sat, thought about it, and gave it some room to grow, just from that small taste I can tell that you're a good writer, hopefully next week is kinder to your schedule and we get to read something a little bit longer!

JW, really liked the story, man. I found common ground with your main character, Tommy as I think a lot of younger people these days would. And with relating to the concept I was better equipped to insert myself right into your story, it was great. I really liked how your bars connected and your narrative skills, great job over all.

Vote-Just Write, for obvious reasons.

04-12-2016, 03:42 PM	#1
2tripple0 death warmed over Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Downstairs illstreet dam Posts: 2,564 Battle Record: 6-21 Rep Power: 0	Wow this was not close at all.....symetrik just really didn't put as much effort in as his opponent and really after last week when u shut me out on votes with a verse very similar to this one and although people thought last week was one of my weaker verses I still am confused how people ultimately voted against me....me personally I think you need a lot of work... Ya rhymes were less than favorable and I think u need work on following along to your topic.... OTOH just write came with a verse about a guy named Tommy who is a literary addict whose always got his nose in a book...not the most picturesque of a verse but it still was enough to gratfiy himself with my vote....so yeah.... Vote: just write __________________ https://soundcloud.com/user-876573949/ https://soundcloud.com/user-634430314/

04-12-2016, 09:54 PM	#2
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	Sym, I liked your concept and all but it just feels rushed. I'd like to see how it would have developed if you sat, thought about it, and gave it some room to grow, just from that small taste I can tell that you're a good writer, hopefully next week is kinder to your schedule and we get to read something a little bit longer! JW, really liked the story, man. I found common ground with your main character, Tommy as I think a lot of younger people these days would. And with relating to the concept I was better equipped to insert myself right into your story, it was great. I really liked how your bars connected and your narrative skills, great job over all. Vote-Just Write, for obvious reasons.