05-11-2013, 06:27 PM
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#11
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The COAT...
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 1,723
Battle Record: 28-20
Champed
- Art of Writing League (x3)
Rep Power: 4595813
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Untold
sharp's gettin dismantled n canceled. u winnin is sad each week
s'when i show this SNL.. his solo career will look like the entire casts from MadTv
concept on this one is borderline acceptable but the wording really through it off for me, especially in the punchline
nine's a sick fuck wit who he picks up. ur user title's a recent disclosure
oh word, playground? is where ur usually caught by cops for indecent exposure
worded better then the previous bar but insulting someone by saying they are seen naked on playgrounds doesnt really leave much of a sting haha
im not here to start beef,or spark heat. but i'm deranged n insane
so compare'd to Twenty-Nine, ur more bitch than she is without changin ya name
dunno who Twenty-Nine is, but if its the name of a female textcee/artist then this is an alright punch
as far as ya secret, keep it! i spit the truth in a brash tone
i'm get'n the weight of the world off my shoulders.. n ur moms walk'n her ass home
for a punch about someones mother, this was decent, but its still a punch about his mother, for shame.
this shits a piece of cake. u need a break n deserve an entire bed
last time Sharp got a Knight off.. they were exchangin blows outside the cypher thread
not 100% sure of what happened in the cypher thread but this didnt really hit for me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharp Nine
Yeeeeoooooooo
did some piss play wit ya hairy bitch, then had a fright fit
cuz w/ the stache n big Pee on her chest shes a dead ringer for Mike Schmidt
has the makings for a pretty complex punch but the reference eludes me tbh haha, this might be dope to someone smarter then I am
girls fuckin him need a talkin to. that shits a disgrace, my friends
if a chick gets 'Told off... she deserves THAT happening for her taste in men
nice little name play here, i kinda like this line
we're both elevating? pshhhh. Sharp stay hot but this geek's in stasis
i surpass Untold struggles in the league... while that happens on a weekly basis
another solid bar, second fav so far right behind the previous lines
ya boy destroyed ya in the cyph. just facts. not tryna be a hater
dawg i exemplified Spur of the moment... n treated you like they did the Lakers
i personally feel you gotta do a bit more with sports references for it to be a standout bar, but others might like this more then i do
dude couldnt win on a handicap. this loss'll leave bro wit doubt
idc if we get Un biased voters... even w/ 10 a' those id still blow him out
LotB imo, very solid closer
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Untold had some decent lines but also so low points in the read. Sharp was pretty consistent with some stand out bars, felt he took this one pretty easily.
+1 Sharp
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