Day Drinkin'

[Pharaohs Army]

writer/rappr

[Adverse]

Originally Posted by Pharaohs Army

I thought the hook on this sounded pretty damn good. nice job

The sound of the verses, not bad@all, but if you're looking for critique I'd say you need to add a little more flare, or fluctuation.

Which I know is hard to explain, since this is kind of a softer beat and softer tone of the lyrics in general.
I must warn you These kind of songs/this softer genre is 'not my wheelhouse', so I don't feel qualified to advise you on much about it. But the thing I know for sure is the hook is good

Alotta peeps who are working on improving seem to use too many breaths. For you I'd say the opposite, perhaps you should use a few more breaths/or pauses followed by a lil' speed or syncopation.. paradoxically it may sound more rhythmic than what you did, particularly like the latter part of the 1st verse..
There were some lines there where I just know you could 'hit better'.. Like the section 1:00 - 1:10. Lyrically I thought it should be one of the best parts of your verse, but to me it seemed to be the weak part from an execution standpoint.

Overall though nice track-
Everything's relative; lotta people suck &are not yet where you're at in audio, but I've given you some critique here because you asked... I haven't heard your older shit but I'm reasonably sure your rebirth has started with improvement.

I like the way you said the word "general"

I really appreciate you taking the time to say all of this my dude, I really appreciate it and i'm glad you liked the song for the most part. I'll definitely take what you said to heart because honestly the whole flare and just overall mic presence of my work has always been a weak point of mine.

This is my first time on a soft beat as well so I didn't try to do too much with it, no ad libs or anything of that sort just a straight through track. I hear what you're saying about the rhythm and more pauses thing, I'll keep an ear out for that. Also I could hear how the end of those verses were bare when they should have had a climax as well so I noted that as well.

Thank you again

ups