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The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349682 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Buddha, it seems as though you took an alternative route
when I first started reading I wasn't concerned by what its about your rhyming seemed to be your soul focus (like I wont notice) after a second read I see your interpretation of your own opus.. this feels darker than a lot of your previous work, so devious.... It works! its just so different from your norm I couldn't believe it at first I wouldn't have used enjoyment or the whole line at the end of the verse (the opening) I would have used joyous makes more sense for what its worth as we continue down through the second half you picked up speed after Da Vinci I think it needs a face lift & it would be fixed up neat :) the ending felt different as well but this is a completely different side to you one that I may grow to like. this was cool & really nice.....its true... JESO, I really enjoyed this because it made more sense this time around you focused more on your foundation instead of getting your rhyming down although the pic isnt here I am assuming you may have used the old man a person who is tortured, going through the motions, confused by why his souls damned at least thats what Im taking away from this, to be honest I didnt understand your whole plan but the fact that you came through with more focus than usual makes me admire the fact you showed & that is beautiful. V/Buddha I feel like Buddha came through with a more deeper motive his verse made sense & he had a better flow for all to notice... Jeso neglected to bring a pic but I think I understood his path but the fact his topic is missing well...that would really hold him back Im glad to say this is one of the more enjoyable battles I wanted to see it feels like a great rivalry that the league honestly needs... in the end I feel Buddha took this with his topic & flow v/Buddha thats just in case any of you wanted to know..
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
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