Week 2: Frank vs. Mr. J (FRANK WINS SHUTOUT 8-0)

[Echo]

Mr J, the problem i had with the verse was that i felt you were bored writing it. it doesn't seem like you had any fun with it. the mechanics and rhyming were fine, everything was technically sound, and there were some nice phrases used. i think that your take on the the topic was cool. it just didn't seem like you were interested in what you were writing about. when it started i expected the story to be fleshed out a lot more than just at the end of the day he listens to blues. the correlation with the tone of the verse wasn't strong enough in my opinion. still, a good piece of writing nonetheless

Frank, the language you used was original which helped bring the piece to life. very imagery driven which is what i look for in a story. to be transported to another time/place. the actual story you told is one we've heard a million times but it was how you told it that kept me interested. the dialogue was perhaps the weakest part to it. it felt off. other than that, i liked the rhyming and fluidity. the story was more fleshed out and whole in contrast with Mr J's.

i think that i have to vote for Frank for telling the more complete story