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Old 03-06-2016, 09:03 PM   #1
Razah
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I don't think I've read too much from asylum, but this was cool. I felt like your first half was stronger than the second half.

Turning brown as it reflected the dirt, reflecting it’s worth,
I Inspected the earth, full as far as your breakfast’s concerned,
With text I will earn the next to be burned

I really liked that part. The line that had microscope in it, that just threw me off, rhyming wise.

Frank, verse was on point. I think the rhyming was the best part. I'm usually not a fan of long ass bars, but this didn't seem so bad since you rhymed so much. So, each bar was kinda like having 2 bars in it.. you cheater.

Lol, anyways, keeping the same rhyme scheme for that many rhymes is impressive on its own. There were times where it felt 'off' due to a change of syllables in the words you rhymed, but I'll let it slide because I know it's hard to keep using the same multi count non-stop, sometimes things like that have to be done.

Like all the votes I make, this is going to the verse I enjoyed more, and this time around, it was Frank

vFrank
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