Congratualtions Pinot Grij: Winter Topical II Champion

[Adonis]

@Pinot Grij



Pinot Grij had a very impressive run along the way defeating his first three opponents Broken Hal0, Soulstice and Pie a whopping 15-0 in votes. He did not have a single vote cast against him the entire tournament, and although the tourney stalled in the end, his verses were still top notch and well deserving of the wins. Other victories include against Mr. J in finals and Diode in Semi-Finals.



Championship Verse

Submitted By: Pinot Grij
Winter Topical II: Finals
2-22-2016
Topic: The Man Who Sold The World


Who is Tabitha?
Read her story.



Tabitha is crestfallen. She felt rotten.
How could she let her defense soften and be left trodden?
She could not have shown less caution. She regrets falling.
She let love’s threat blossom and was infected by its death toxin.
Oh, the betrayal she felt - it quickly morphed into vengeful desires
To her, Robolationships was just an alias that meant Deception For Hire.
With a contemptuous fire against such a wicked attack,
She made a vigilant pact to stop those guilty of this villainous act.

Robolationships’ CEO was Lucas Graves. A brutish knave.
He was the man who sold the world the only thing it truly craves.
A hardly demure entrepreneur, he was resolute in direction
As he developed an android adroit in the realm of human affection.
An illusion so precious - his units accepted to a booming reception.
They made the woe-beset forget about the wounds they’d been dressing.
But there were moralists who more or less besmirched his design
They thought it a merciless crime to trick a person’s mind with circuits and wires
But let the purists conspire, he thought, they all beat the same drum
Cyborg or life form: if you attain love, who cares where it came from?
So those who longed from being wronged when left to their own devices,
Would spend their earnings on their yearning, no matter what the price is
He saved the lovelorn from blunt scorn - providing hope was his art.
So what if a few of his drones had gone rogue and broke a few hearts?
He felt irreproachable - few had been dealt such delusions of self
As he’d accumulate wealth with each Roboyfriend that flew off the shelf.

Graves entered his office with a newspaper in hand.
And was met by a fuming woman intent on making a stand.
No stated demands - only the retribution she sought.
For his fugitive fraud and its punitive abuse of her heart.
He said, "I know why you're here. And I'm sorry for what you've endured.
You came to vent your hate for how I’ve desecrated something so pure.
But I once was in love. That sweet rush - alas, it was in vain.
And I was abandoned just the same, left to grapple with the pain.
That shrapnel still remains, lodged in the very meat of my being,
So I built these droids to fill the void left from the grief of that feeling.”
He saw the girl bow her head and the tears roll from her cheeks.
Just then he struck, and he gripped her by the throat and he squeezed.
But didn’t notice her breathe. And he knew he had nothing to blame.
The irony struck as the android blew up and engulfed him in flames.

Tabitha self-destructed her droid - she smiled as her plan took effect
Then she downloaded Graves’ fingerprints from his hands on its neck
She used them to gain access to the Robolationships vault.
And then laid waste to their databanks with a brazen assault.
Except she kept one program, and had it stored on a disk.
Which she swore was for kicks, a memento from their glorious tryst.
But many nights, the loneliness grips as she sips a glass of wine.
And wonders if she rebuilt him, would it be different than last time.

[Allen Knight]

damn props to pulse, he's doing work.

[Adonis]

Semi-Finals vs. Diode
Submitted By: Pinot Grij
2-13-2016
Topic:








Quarter Finals vs. Pie
Submitted By: Pinot Grij
2-1-2016
Topic: Everything that we see is a shadow cast by that which we do not see



Person Man was the superhero the city didn’t actually need
No dastardly deeds captured the streets, things were happy indeed
The criminals were minimal.. but every vigilante needs a purpose
He saw evil lurk beneath the surface of the most routine occurrence
He determined people’s urges for deceit could deeply worsen
So any act he deemed as irksome carried steep incursions. Peep the verdict.

A woman is driving. She gets a text and is minutely distracted.
That’s when ya boy Person Man swoops in to action.
Her larynx collapses with a quick karate chop to the throat
He yells, “Bitch, you must pull off of the road when you talk on your phone!”
But she ain’t talkin’ no mo’ - Person Man picks up her cell
And types, “You’ll see your friend again the next time you’re visiting Hell”
He sees a minivan, a soccer mom with her tot son sitting shotgun
She screams, “I’m calling the cops! You better pray to a God if you’ve got one!”
He tosses his Personrang, it lops off her head and blood pools in the street
Then growls, “You dumb cunt, children aged 5-9 need to be in a booster seat.”
With his duties complete, he sets off with the stride of a savior
To stop some defiant stranger’s violent nature from putting more lives in danger

The middle school cafeteria is filled with the town’s little munchkins
Children crowded in bunches as they sit down for their lunches
Just then Person Man rushed in, as he sees a tubby, fat kid
His katana blade cuts off his hands, still holding a peanut butter sandwich
He screamed, “Foods containing allergens these days aren’t an option!
It seems the only thing this fat shit is allergic to is safety precautions!”
The kid dismayed as he’s gawkin’ at the stumps where his hands had been
And heard, “You’re a worthless match for Person Man, you little faggot bitch!”
A 360 slice opened the kid’s belly, his intestines were dumped on the floor
Person Man ***kled and said, “I bet that tubby dummy’s not hungry anymore!
That child’s sandwich was a menace, just think what it could’ve started”
That’s when a teacher screamed, “You fucking idiot, that kid was retarded!”
Person Man jumped up and split her skull with a deafening strike
And frowned as he said, “The R word hurts, you insensitive dyke”
On his way out, he stabbed the janitor for his thoughtless crime
He mopped the hallway, but neglected to put up the caution sign

Person Man smiled, he was pulling this city back from the brink
That’s when he stopped at the gas station for some snacks and a drink
He gave the clerk a laugh and a wink then went back to the soft drink case
And completely missed the masked gunman who was robbin’ the place
Person Man looked at the clerk and could tell the man had been sweatin’
That’s when the robber grabbed a carton of cigarettes and ran out the exit
The clerk looked confused, he said, “That woeful thief just stole from me!
Holy sheesh! What kind of fucking superhero are you supposed to be?!”
Person Man sighed and said, “Let me just start gettin this straight, then…
Did you just dispense tobacco to that man without checking his identification?”
“But that’s not the point!” The clerk had started to explain

That’s when Person Man jumped on him and started carving out his brain
He muttered, “Teen smoking is a problem, it’s the simplest of facts.”
Then pulled out the clerk’s brain and said, “Next time you’ll THINK before you act!”

Once night falls, he uses the city’s skyscrapers as his platform.
His name is Person Man. The superhero that nobody really asked for.



Second Round vs. Soulstice
Submitted By: Pinot Grij
1/20/2016
Topic: Finding Of Soul





***pls view the video first***

Vincent Smith - A Fictional History

^ That's Vincent Smith, and that's Jadeveon Clowney laying him out
But what the replays don't show is Smith's soul escape through his mouth
It changed him, no doubt - before draft day, teams were staking him out
But Smith fumbled and stumbled each time he played for the scouts
Now Clowney, he's a Lone Star in Houston - 1st pick in the draft
While every team passed on Vincent, hardly a sniff from the pack
He returned to Michigan, to get his reputation on the mend
But he played shitty there too - and he was stapled to the bench
So he focused on academics - but he failed on every test
Tried to bag chicks, but his sad dick couldn’t even stay erect
Passing off as a laughingstock, he was the college’s joke
Got his athletic scholarship revoked and that was all that she wrote
Poor Vincent - he was dragged off campus punching and kicking
His life was shit. Ever since that hit, he just knew something was missing

5 YEARS LATER

Vincent is fat now. He looks like crap now.
He only wears sweats and lives on a campground.
Down at the trailer park, he’s always buggin’ people
Tellin’ stories from his glory years like Uncle Rico
He works at Wal Mart so he can never save a penny.
Spending days aplenty with his neighbor Cajun Remy.
Now, the pagan Cajun practiced voodoo still to this day.
And told Vincent his theory that had him filled with dismay
“Vince, your soul left when that man popped off your head
I’m no doctor, but to the spirits, child, you’re already dead.
But the soul never ceases and yours is left intact.
And if you trust Remy but any then I can get it back.”
See, down at the NFL Drug Center, Remy knows of a man
Who hooked Remy up with a phoney custodian’s badge
The Cajun was a thief and here’s a pure example
He walked in and stole Jadeveon’s urine sample
Back at the trailer, the Cajun insisted Vincent drink it
Smith was disgusted but this sure wasn't time for thinking
Vincent chugged the piss cup and his face fell flat
As he saw Remy hit him in the chest with a baseball bat
And Remy sang, “BANG BANG SHAROOK ALANG
THE MAN CLOWNEY HIT VINCENT LIKE A RUNAWAY TRAIN
BANG BANG SHAROOK AROLL
THE MAN CLOWNEY TOOK AWAY THE MAN VINCE’S SOUL
BANG BANG SHAROOK ARISK
VINCE RECLAIMED HIS SPIRIT AFTER DRINKIN’ MAN’S PISS
BANG BANG SHAROOK ARACK
ALL SPIRITS, ALL HEAR IT - GIVE VINCE HIS SOUL BACK!”

Meanwhile, at the stadium, Clowney’s vision went all blurry
His body seized up and he left the game twitchin’ on a gurney

5 YEARS LATER

Smith is a CEO, pockets flush, miles away from his poor conditions
Smokin’ stogies on a private yacht, surrounded by gorgeous women
Taut physique, built like a freak - lookin’ like a college day throwback
Plus his hair’s grown back - hell yeah, Vincent Smith has got his soul back






First Round vs. Broken Hal0
Submitted By: Pinot Grij
1/11/2016
Topic:





I’ll take the Intercontinental Belt back. Take it back to Parts Unknown. Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel. Then load it with the Warriors.”

- The Ultimate Warrior

Jared loves astronomy and professional wrestling
Two topics with no common ground, you’re probably guessing
With his telescope, he held out hope as he checked out the moon
That its celestial dunes were some kind of extraterrestrial ruins
Until that one night, he glimpsed within the moonlight’s glorious bask
Upon its rocky surface, there emerged the Ultimate Warrior’s mask!
Once the euphoria passed, he watched with a gleam in his eyes
Like a beam in the night, the mask whimsically careened through the skies
It was the Warrior ship! Jared thought, “Is this really happening?”
And like some astral dream, he was pulled in by its tractor beam
Through sliding doors he made his way to the ship’s command center
Then gasped, all the crew mates were his favorite dead wrestlers!
Macho Man, Eddie Guerrero, Owen Hart and Rick Rude
The British Bulldog, Mr. Perfect - now there was a slick dude!
There the Warrior said, “We never died, Jared, this was our destiny.
To protect Earth from subterranean aliens who are great at wrestling!
That’s why I had my vessel bring our sport’s most massive fan
To give you a front row seat to our huge event at Saturn Slam!”

Jared couldn’t believe his eyes - he swore never to blink
As he watched his former heroes all enter the ring
He saw Mr. Perfect grab his alien foe around its purple neck
And held it as it struggled to escape from the Perfect-plex
Macho Man defeated his opponent and after he pinned him
He put on his shiny cowboy hat and snapped into a Slim Jim
Ravishing Rick Rude faced a truly gruesome, heinous thing
But stole his girlfriend after he snapped him in the Rude Awakening
Then the Warrior took the ring in a 20-Man Battle Royale
And as the last man standing, he grabbed the mic with his patented growl
“I may be the champion, but I couldn’t win this match myself
I owe it all to Warrior Jared for reclaiming the Intergalactic Belt!”
Jared’s passion swelled, he couldn’t even fathom his fame
But he felt on top of the world as the superstars all chanted his name

It’s all a dream. Jared is a lonely boy clutching his only toy
An Ultimate Warrior action figure, his yard sale pride and joy
See, his brothers would beat him while his mom was at work
Those jerks took their anger from the divorce out on his self-worth
It was mean, his brothers put him in the Million Dollar Dream
But he wouldn’t fall asleep, they’d just hold it as he screamed
He’d think, “At school, when they pick teams nobody selects me.
I get beat up at every recess and nobody protects me.
Most nights when I go to sleep my stomach is empty.
If I died, I think everybody in the whole world would forget me.”
He held his Warrior toy and cried that night with hard sobs
His stupid brother had gotten angry and broke both of the arms off
So he looks upwards at the sky for shooting stars, he’s never seen one
And he dreams of escaping a world that will never let him be one

[Adonis]

Good shit bro, well deserved


@Allen Knight

will you give him his accomp please?

[Certain]

@Pinot Grij, when did you first start doing topical/storytelling battling?

[Allen Knight]

Originally Posted by Adonis

Good shit bro, well deserved


@Allen Knight

will you give him his accomp please?

yea i gotchu.

[2tripple0]

Congrats to pinot

[ill nik-A]

RL represent

[Pinot Grij]

Originally Posted by Certain

@Pinot Grij, when did you first start doing topical/storytelling battling?

I dunno, man. They weren't called topicals and there was no battling with just verses when I first started. I think the first topical tourney on RL was like '03 or '04. @ill nik-A please confirm.

[ill nik-A]

I don't remember the year but I remember the events sorta

[Certain]

Originally Posted by Pinot Grij

I dunno, man. They weren't called topicals and there was no battling with just verses when I first started. I think the first topical tourney on RL was like '03 or '04. @ill nik-A please confirm.

Right, that's what I figured. RapMusic has a pretty legitimate claim on the first topical league (which was originally the Rapmusic.com Story Telling League but became the Rapmusic.com Story/Topical League as tastes evolved), and I didn't think you were part of that back in 2000-05 before I ducked out.

[UnbornBuddha]

Congrats Pinot, it's unfortunate you got stood up for the finals. That person man rendition was quite entertaining reminded me of that superhero comedy "Super".

[Geno]

big ups gawd. your a dope topicalist

[dead man]

Well deserved on all accounts.

I hope we can match up sometime soon.

[Witty]

Props bro.

[PancakeBrah]

Topicals suck.