Week 6 Magazine: Jennifer Orcence Edition

[Orc]

Introduction

''Girllll, this is like the best League ever'' - Ras Al Ghul............




Howdy, folks. Last week was decent in terms of overall performance and people showing up. We had some nice verses and I might even be able to do a Top Punches section this week. What a surprise! I will ask that those of you who are considered dope drop some heat this week. Make people want to sign in and take you out. Prove you're top fucking dog around here. Who noshowed I hear you ask? Well, Knucklehead noshowed because he's a lazy hillbilly, and Useless noshowed because ''he didn't want to battle a nobody''.



Voting needs to pick up. Do you people think that only your battle should be voted on? Get your fucking heads out of your asses. Half of the shit you guys have been dropping hasn't been stellar. It's improving, sure, but at least vote and help people improve. Looking ahead; we have a whole host of new sign-ins and the interest levels are really high. People want to write again, which is great. This is what you're here for isn't it? Everything else is irrelevant. I mean, we have Fracture AND Resin M-I-C in the same league. That probably hasn't happened in like 10 years. You guys need to be gunning for these text legends, and write your own name into the annals of NC.



Battle Reviews
''I'm bout to print off this wack shit & feed it to 'em...............''





ill nik-A vs Infiltration

Our first champ match of the season was actually pretty good, so props to both. I hadn't read Nik in a while and the week before I challenged Inf to step it up. Inf did step it up and brought some nice concepts. His wording was choppy at times which hurt him because Nik always makes his stuff really fluid. I liked the English, Count Calories and Tire lines. Nik is in dangerous form at the minute coming off a Fall Brawl win and now another NBL Belt, his verse was full of confidence and why wouldn't it be. The Tragic line was cool from him but he had two haymakers in dealer certified and Blac Chyna. ill nik-A won and becomes the NBL Champion for the third time.



Tic vs Hush

I had hoped for a 20 line barfest from both of these dudes. Hush was willing and I think motivated to drop some bombs but Tic hadn't got time this week so they both went with 14 lines. Hush has been using a gritty, more gunbar oriented style in recent times and he dropped a verse of that ilk here. It wasn't a great verse if I'm honest. I prefer the wittier Hush over the grimy dude. The Hush that writes a bar and you're like ''damnnn, I wish I thought of that''. In this particular battle, I liked the Beast wars line and the Ebonics concept. Tic has crafted himself a very NC friendly style which will definitely get him votes no matter what the battle. It's the way he words things that makes his punches hit. I thought the Oscars line was tough. Was Newcomer a cum line, though? Say it isn't so. Please file a report on this and have it on my desk by morning. Hush won 5-4 in votes.

Destroyer vs Cred

Both of these guys agreed to go pics early. Destroyer posted the biggest picture on the internet. Nobody wants to see a face that ugly plastered across their screen. Come on, bro. Think of the damn children. Cred posted a template Hood shot. It's like a still from a 90's LL Cool J jam. The battle itself was lacklustre, with neither of them dropping anything near their potential. It seemed rushed. I liked the fact Des flew out of the gate early, though. Dropping before deadline is definitely a trait to be admired. I think Des was grasping for concepts though because they weren't as clever or witty as what he usually brings. The tone of the verse was funny, though. Cred had some decent lines, but some of the voters felt that he didn't really attack the picture. Voters ruled the battle in Destroyer's favour.


Allen Knight vs Fracture

The returning legend vs the newschool head honcho. This could have been great. You guys need to put more time and effort into your verses and inspire the people! All it takes is one fire battle to make people hungry again. Anyway, the battle was cool. Frac dropped early, which is dope, but maybe he should have taken a little more time to craft his bars. This verse was more like his old self though. You can tell how witty the boy is. It's just getting back to wording it like he used to. I thought the choke artist line was sick. More like that. The Piru line too. Take more time with your rhyming and wording. It's hard to shake off the rust, you'll get there though. As for AK he brought some solid hits; Gothic was dope and so was the Wyatt line. Allen won.


Resin M-I-C vs Wanderer

Somewhat of a mismatch here. Wanderer is only finding his feet and he came up against one of the best to ever do it. Resin has been on fire recently and keeps dropping really original verses which is to be admired considering a lot of competitors are happy rehashing old shit. English major line was tight. So was the IV. I think you wasted the Wanderlei line though, the wording wasn't great. Solid fucking verse, though. I like that you don't write to your opponents level. You're here to rip heads off. Wanderer I thought you did okay, so don't be discouraged. The wallaby line was sweet. Hover bar was a cool concept too. Keep writing and thinking creatively and you'll be set. You have originality, so you already have half of what you need to be a real threat. As far as the votes went, Resin took them in a clean sweep.


Pinot Grij vs Lotto Smirk

Lotto is a lot like Wanderer in that he's still playing around with his style and trying to find what is working. He's starting to win just as much as he loses which is the turning point for a battler in regards to starting to move up the tiers. He doesn't get discouraged when he loses which is a good trait. He was rushed for time this week and his verse showed it. Battle Royale was cool and current and the Fury line was an okay jab. The problem was some of your bars felt rushed which hurt you. I know you did rush them but you should always word them as if you didn't. Presentation is vital. Pinot was way more polished and that's what got him the win. He's been making waves recently in text and also in the topical scene, with him being in the semi finals of the Winter Topical Tournament. His style is fluid and slick. Mirra bar was a light hit, but the Scratch bar was hot. Pinot won here, and is due to face ill nik-A for the title this week.


Orc vs slecht

This wasn't great. slecht rushed his verse and for that reason it was choppy and the punches weren't executed to their full potential. I noticed this, and dropped what I thought would get me the win. It's a cheap move, sure, but it worked. The only difference between my verse and slecht's was the wording. That's what I'm trying to tell these up and comers. Spend time on it! Make it concise. Don't use words you don't need. If your verse is well worded, it's going to get votes.

Week 7: Previews
''Predators always look straight ahead.............''




ill nik-A vs Pinot Grij

I think both of these dudes are similar in some ways. They both have their own style and don't conform. They both also have a very smooth delivery. Pinot has been doing well so far, but this is his first real test. I know he was sick back in the day, this battle will show whether or not he can reach those heights yet again. ill nik has been on a tear lately, probably the best run of form he's been on in a long time. I'm really looking forward to the battle, hopefully they go 20 or more. I think that on current form I will give the edge to ill nik-A, but I hope Pinot brings heat.


Destroyer vs Schadenfreude

Destroyer has always lost as many battles as he won, which has held him back thus far. I think that's changing now, though. He seems to be winning more and losing less. He's found his own lane and has worked on his wording a lot. Maybe the turning point was when he robbed me last year. Who knows? Schad has been quietly making moves. He's decent, even though Useless called him a nobody. *cue Gif*. I've mentioned before that I like his style. He's like a less bland Cashius. Shout out to @Cashius. Where are u? I think this battle is pretty much a toss up. If I had to pick I think Schad edges it in a close one.


Resin M-I-C vs Hush

This has the potential to be massive. Two legends colliding. Silver age hero vs Golden age antihero. Please bring heat. The league is popping right now and I think this battle can take it even further. Hush hasn't been tested in a while on the battle front and has been fucking around with a grittier style whereas Resin has been dropping his usual consistent bangers. He can drop a gunbar if needs be though; he recently won a tournament on RMBVA. I think that right now, at this moment, Resin has the edge. Only because he's been battling more consistently of late.


Infiltration vs Lotto Smirk

Infiltration will want to bounce back after a disappointing loss in the champ match last week. I know that motivation can be hard to come by after reaching a title match and losing but you need to turn that disappointment into bars by channeling that feeling. Don't want to feel that way again? Then drop more heat. Simple. Lotto has been improving steadily but in the past couple of weeks he has been really busy which stalled his progress somewhat. Hopefully this week he can take a minute and construct a well thought out verse. I think that on current form, Infiltration walks away with the win here.


Strange vs Unfukwitable

This might just be a contender for battle of the week. Do not sleep on these guys. Strange is from RB and he's in their version of the HOF. Don't roll your eyes because I said RB, he doesn't write like that. He actually has a very NC friendly style which has often made me wonder why he hasn't battled here more frequently. Unfukwitable on the other hand hails from LB, where he has always wrote in a longbar format. He has only battled here for a fairly short amount of time and his improvement has been astronomic. He quickly shed his awkward, clunky wording and now drops fluid hard hitting verses. Thanks to help from dudes like murda sho and Hush he has quickly become a force to be reckoned with. This battle should be close, with both competitors gathering votes, but I think Strange will surprise a few people and take the win.

Tic vs Murda Sho

This is another potentially sick battle. Murda Sho is a muthafuckn veteran. He was dope years ago on illesty and he's just as dope now. His raw, street approach is brimming with confidence and can be hard to counter. Tic, on the other hand, is another dude who has risen quickly. Not unlike Unfuk, he has created a lane for himself by quickly figuring out what works on Netcees and utilising that formula. He has meshed a couple of styles together and added his own brand of humour to create a sleek and concise steez. I know that the boy Sho hasn't been battling consistenly of late, whereas Tic has been. For that reason, I'll predict Tic to take this battle.


Slecht vs Fracture

Frac is shaking off his rust with ease. He's only dropped two verses so far, and the second was exponentially better than the first. The clever ideas and witty flips seems to be coming back quickly to one of the all time best textcees. Slecht is new to the NBL and has found it tough to adapt so far. He just needs to take a little bit more time on his verses and not rush to put them out. He has a great attitude though and is improving with each verse. He's currently 0-4 and is facing Fracture this week, who is desperate for his first win also. Something has got to give. Unfortunately for the boy Slecht I think that this week could just be the week that Fracture comes out with all guns blazing.


CtrlF4 vs Killing Spree

CtrlF4 was making waves a couple of years back. I remember people thinking that he was an alias at the time. I think we may have had a close battle ourselves at one point. He tends to battle sporadically, though, so he never really gets to a point where he's bashing out bars on a consistent level. I think that's vital so that you're constantly thinking of creative concepts. Hopefully he can get motivated and stick around. Killing Spree is newschool RB. He's been battling consistently for a while now and is just on the cusp of becoming really good. The problem with him is that he sometimes just throws up whatever to get a verse in. He needs to take his time and think about the quality of what he's putting out. Put the effort in. I think that Ctrl will take this battle in a close one.


Cred vs Wanderer

Both of these dudes are coming into this battle on the back of losses. Neither guy will want to take another loss. Cred had a nice verse last week. I thought he was unlucky to take the loss. He's been making waves quietly for a year or so but maybe now is the time for him to step it up and prove he can hang with the best and champ the NBL. Wanderer done okay against Resin last week. He's still learning what works and what doesn't and isn't afraid to take risks with concepts and wordplay. He just has to make sure these risks don't backfire in future. I think that Cred will use his experience here and walk away with the dub.


VividlyVague vs Frank

The topic this week is Unicorn Paradise. Wait, what? You mean these guys are text battling? Wow. I don't know anything about VV, to be honest I haven't even read any of his work on the topical side. Frank I know to be a good writer. He just chooses to be weird a lot of the time and does weird shit. Why do you do that Frank? I'm going to just guess here and say that VV comes with a more polished battle verses and beats Frank.

Witty vs 10Senses

Witty was always a good topical writer but in the last year or so he has been dabbling in text a lot more. He knows how to write a decent verse but motivation can be a big factor. I'm hoping he shows up because if he doesn't he will have shamed Ireland. 10Senses has been screaming for a battle since he got here but from what I've seen he's not punchline oriented. I would advise him to read the battles in the archives to gain a greater understanding of what is considered to be a dope verse on Netcees. I think Witty will show up. I also think Witty will win.

Week 7 Previews: A Second Opinion

by Allen Knight
''Orc wtf all these faggots are wack..................''



Championship Match: ill nik-A 5-0 vs Pinot Grij 4-1

This will be fire tbh pinot got bars & this will be nik's hardest challenge so far
in the league. Last week pinot had a nice verse tbh some fresh concepts, which he will need to have vs nik. Nik-a is dope straight up & he been proving this for years he been hangin w/ every generation which is rare cuz u see all these ol vets coming back gettin bodied an cryin about it but not ill hes stood the test of time. this one battle i wanna see, so bring ur best yah'll this shit will be fire.
Winner=Nik 55/45 but pinot can win this tbh


Contendership Match: Schadenfreude 3-2 vs Destroyer
This could be close or not idk cuz idk wat format there goin if its pics des got it clear hes nice w/ it if reg i think schad is a lil better but des could take it he just needs to stay away of that played shit idc how dope u think it is if the bar is played an u feel its play dont drop it bro i kno u kno wat i mean faggot. Shad is good i never heard of him but he came outta no where dropping solid verses week in an week out, this could end up dope or not depends on yah'll being consistent. G/l to both.
Winner=tie 50/50 anyone can win this

Infiltration 4-1 vs Lotto Smirk 3-2

cool battle here, inf coming off a losss in the title match but it was real close tbh alot ppl thought he took it, i think hes gonna drop nice here to prove he should be the champ right now. Smirk is honestly gettin better an better every time he battles he just needs to get a handle on his wording an he'll be a problem he has some good wins under his belt, this could be a real dope battle both have the ablity to drop fire.
Winner=Inf 60/40 i think hes on fire right now

Tic 1-1 vs murda sho 2-1

Fire battle right here my pic for BOTW both are nice tic just came off a real close loss to hush but he said he was sick so that def a factor cuz i been sick tryn to write verses an it sucks tbh, murda is nice he got his own style an its nice i feel it. This one is stupid close tbh, both got diff styles but nice w/ it.
Winner=50/50 To close to call

Hush 2-0 vs Resin M-I-C 1-1

Damn another contender for BOTW this one will be a slugfest, both are dope this one i never thought i'd see but i hope it goes down, hush is nice he always dips for a while comes back an is still dope lol shit is crazy & resin is the same which is crazy this shit can be a HOF battle if both drop to there potiental this could be epic.
Winner=50/50 to hard to call anyone can win this

slecht 0-4 vs Fracture 0-2

Sleep battle right here could be dope as fuck tbh. Slecht is improving alot i feel he just rusty once he shakes that off he'll be good its crazy he dont got a win yet but hes been put up vs some nice compo tbh an it continues, frac had a dope battle w/ me an i felt ppl slept on some of his shit hes nice imo. this will be close tbh an a good read if they show.
Winner=Fracture 60/40 but slecht can suprise

Cred 2-3 vs Wanderer 0-1

Cred is coming off a close loss in a pic battle w/ des which shows how nice he is cuz faggot des is dope at pic battles so cred is showing his versatility an i feel like its only gonna be up for him now on tbh he got a good mix in his verses of a lil of everything. Wanderer got concepts but his wording is not there yet it hurts his bars from hittin if he gets that down he'll be good he just needs to read older batttles an get his wording down.
Winner=Cred 70/30

Strange 0-0 vs Unfukwitable 1-1

Shit another sleeper dope battle, strange is King from rb & hes nice but i beat him 3x :) lol but naw dude got bars an is def a contender for the title off the bat forreal. He's facing Unfuk who is one of the most creative dudes imo out right now & thats rare he always has some shit like damn i wish i thought of that in ever verse i read from him. This one will be nice if both drop fire like they can
Winner=50/50 Hard to pick here

VividlyVague 0-0 vs Frank 0-0

Battle of the topical heads, idk vivid like that in the battle area but he could be good, i seen frank an hes ok not horrible but nothing crazy tbh an thats real but hey he could drop fire cuz he can write his topical game is nice i hear but vivd is to so this could be a nice battle lets see wat happens, g/l yah'll.
Winner=50/50 idk


10Senses 0-0 vs Witty 0-0

This i think was on request, honestly witty can drop nice when he trys i seen it he got bars but idk if he'll show hopefully. 10 i seen his drop in the dis an if he drops shit like that he'll get bodied foreal. He needs to drop more creative shit to win here.
Winner=Witty 80/20


CtrlF4 1-2 vs Killing Spree 1-0

This one i cant call cuz they both never show lol foreal yah'll want some reviews show for ur battle an i will

Winner=whoever shows


Top Punches
''You mean someone actually wrote something decent?.......''

Originally Posted by Allen Knight

ur moms sucks me off before i smash, im violent diggin her
that slut kisses the head before i slam it like Bray Wyatt's finisher

Originally Posted by ill nik-A

loooove serving ya girl yay while that skeezer hurts ya pride
got a lot of miles BUT she rides good… that bitch is dealer certified

Originally Posted by Infiltration

Fuck swayin votes; u been a large salty body since ur inception..
Irony is: carried to U.S shores on a spare tire & now carrying 1 in ur midsection

Originally Posted by Fracture

Frac is the nicest at this, ur just aiight & that's it
Plus ur a choke artist. Allen could only make a name illustrating heimlich pamphlets

The ''really bro?'' award goes to my boy Tic for the cum line:

Originally Posted by Tic

Wifey says you don't hit. When I was humpin, shoulda heard her scream
Every Newcomer body went into shock like weak stomachs at a murder scene

Power Ranks
by Allen Knight
''Every level needs a Boss............''

1. Ill Nik-a

Dude has been a force no one can fuck w/ right now.

2.Infiltration

lost last week, but barely. i feel he still right there w/ nik. hes dope
i think he'll right be back there in the title match.

3.Hush

Hes dope & i honestly think he'll be showing for his battles an show the youngins wats really good.

4. Resin M-I-C

Dude has been killing it since he came back all he needs to add to his collection of achivements is the nbl title & he can get it.

5. Pinot Grij

He came outta no where an been bodying shit, he use to be a battler but went the topical route now back to battling, hes nice.


Outro

''When the fuck did Orc become David Lama? Does he write mags from the club?.........................''

First off major props to my dude @Allen Knight for coming through with the previews and the power ranks. I want to thank the competitors too. Keep it fucking going. Keep bringing more heat every single week. If you're on this site but not battling and you're reading this I have one question: why the fuck are you not signed in? You're too busy refreshing the Discussion forum? Please. Nobody gives a fuck about six losers replying to every thread. It takes fifteen minutes to write ten lines. Stop telling yourself you don't have the time. Of course you do. Fifteen minutes, boy. Get the fuck in this league. Text is coming back. More people are joining every week. Be a part of the damn movement. I'll leave you with some hot bitches courtesy of the boy Allen.

[Destroyer]

heimlich pamplets in top punches?
im signing out immediately

[Orc]

Creativity is to be admired. It's better than calling someones beard a nipple.

[ill nik-A]

I liked it a lot tbh

Good job, Orc

Proppers

[Pinot Grij]

Originally Posted by Destroyer

heimlich pamplets in top punches?
im signing out immediately

Word. Frac had two or three better punches in that verse alone.

Still proper shit. Nice work, Orc.

[Certain]

One Rihanna photo >>>>>>> all the Jennifer Lawrence gifs.

[Chamber]

Originally Posted by Certain

One Rihanna photo >>>>>>> all the Jennifer Lawrence gifs.

my nigga.



but this mag was fire props to @Orc i didnt even kno shit was gonna be this dope, ima add more next week w/ u homie.

[Orc]

Originally Posted by Certain

One Rihanna photo >>>>>>> all the Jennifer Lawrence gifs.

Next week is Rihanna gif week. Please contain yourself until then.

[Pinot Grij]

10Senses vs Witty is BOTW. Buhleedat.

[Burd]

i wouldn't worry about the punches chosen. i would worry about the quality being put out if only four punches were decent

also

10senses bout to run thru the league with ease

[slech]

beautiful!

haha j.law a hottie
@Fracture what up playboy

[Tic]

Dope mag.

Props to me for that line.

[Destroyer]

tell me that shit didnt look like a nipple

[Hush]

Thanks guys

Ima try to bring more conventional punches this week

[Cred]

Word to wat @Hush said, im on dat


Nice ass mag @Orc @Allen Knight preciate this

[Useless]

Dope mag. Y'all puttin in work



J-law > rihanna easy tho

[Destroyer]

also want to point out that my 'bulls shit on ur head" line should have got more love
not only was it pic-related wordplay, it was also a slight on all organized religion
its cool though
you guys will study my lines for years to come
i'm sure my text wont be appreciated until after im gone
im the van gogh of text basically

[ill nik-A]

Originally Posted by Destroyer

also want to point out that my 'bulls shit on ur head" line should have got more love
not only was it pic-related wordplay, it was also a slight on all organized religion
its cool though
you guys will study my lines for years to come
i'm sure my text wont be appreciated until after im gone
im the van gogh of text basically

It's been done before

I've done it before

Reason I said I liked the way u worded it

[Destroyer]

bro i know YOU got it

[ill nik-A]

Oh god, some didn't?