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#1 |
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,868
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Mr.J: Interesting approach, straight forward as far as language goes with some young wonder and fantasy in between the words. Pretty cool overall and I can definitely see the connection to Nacho Libre, haha. Cool shit.
Adonis: Pretty cool take on a young kids mental stability and their thoughts. Lots of understanding how a childs brain works. Not sure if the last sentence brings forth the issue of wetting the bed which a lot of kids struggle with, but I choose to understand it as such and I find the challenge and fear she's facing this night to be a tough one. Vote - one a bit more abstract than the other. It could go either way imho but Adonis edges it on this one for acknowledging the hardships of the youth and I liked his approach slightly better although the wittiness and smile at the end of Mr.J's did an impact too.
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o |
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