Round One: 8. VividlyVague vs. 13. 2tripple0 - vividlyvague wins

Woke · 11-20-2015, 11:01 AM

Not much time here sorry. I enjoyed the writing of Vivid though it's a bit muddled as to who the kid and father are. Incest clearly happened and from what I can tell is you just explained a cycle, the kid wanted to be a good dad but ended up being like his? Only say that because the beginning lines reflected the ending, either that or you changed characters, highly unlikely. Either way it was a solid read with good mechanics, just not the clearest execution regarding concept. Trips, what the fuck was this man? A story inside a story inside your mind. Cool concept, not very good execution. From the numerous grammatical errors to the way you jumped around in time zones and mind states made this a difficult read. This would be a hard concept to pull off for anyone so good job on creating it, but that's as far as you went this week.

V/vivid for the better verse overall.

11-20-2015, 11:01 AM	#6
Woke Senior Member Join Date: May 2015 Posts: 183 Battle Record: 6-4 Rep Power: 553418	Not much time here sorry. I enjoyed the writing of Vivid though it's a bit muddled as to who the kid and father are. Incest clearly happened and from what I can tell is you just explained a cycle, the kid wanted to be a good dad but ended up being like his? Only say that because the beginning lines reflected the ending, either that or you changed characters, highly unlikely. Either way it was a solid read with good mechanics, just not the clearest execution regarding concept. Trips, what the fuck was this man? A story inside a story inside your mind. Cool concept, not very good execution. From the numerous grammatical errors to the way you jumped around in time zones and mind states made this a difficult read. This would be a hard concept to pull off for anyone so good job on creating it, but that's as far as you went this week. V/vivid for the better verse overall.