Week 15: (2-1) Copypat vs. (2-0) JESODIST - COPYPAT 5-2

asylum · 11-06-2015, 12:33 AM

Copypat – I totally know this feel right now. I have broccoli sitting in the fridge I bought today but I think I might get jack in the box. Anyway, I like your pieces flow. It was laid back. Favorite lines..
Obviously.. it’d be nice for a change
To get the proper nutrients and rice and some grains
My life would just change if my diet steez was better
But I like me the taste of a prime beef that’s tender
Lol. This simple verse speaks volumes about approach. You stuck to a simple theme and it really worked for you. Nice drop, good word choices. Hit the topic well and stuck to a theme enough for me to say, “it works,” but in all reality, you underwrote.

Jesodist – I’m concerned about your approach so I will break your verse down in relation to your topic. So “the path” stuck to your topic. Good. So you’re a little bit confused with your personal relationships, not good at communicating, that much I gather. You pretty much went with a juxtapose approach by saying you do not know where you’re going, so no road will take you anywhere. At least that’s how I’m relating your piece to your topic. I know what you mean. No one is really listening, man. They don’t care. You have to find purpose within yourself. You should think about taking on a union apprenticeship, they pay you like 20 bucks an hour just to train. Anyway, your verse was super personal and I appreciate that. You spoke from the heart here and I really like the message you have communicated. I feel you bro. but at the same time, I’m not sure if you hit the exact opposite tone of your topic on purpose.. it felt more like a rebuttal. I think your mechanics are your stronger point. You make it a point to match up rhyming syllables throughout your verse and it makes for an enjoyable read but you need to brainstorm a little bit more before you commit to a subject so you can produce formidable content matter.

Mvgt – copypat had the more solid approach this week. That’s all there is to it. Although jesodist really poured his heart out, I think it was more of an OM drop then a topical battle drop. I don’t think either hit the topic head on enough to take it into consideration. Good battle tho. Thanks to both.

11-06-2015, 12:33 AM	#6
asylum Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 999 Battle Record: 7-5 Rep Power: 8214211	Copypat – I totally know this feel right now. I have broccoli sitting in the fridge I bought today but I think I might get jack in the box. Anyway, I like your pieces flow. It was laid back. Favorite lines.. Obviously.. it’d be nice for a change To get the proper nutrients and rice and some grains My life would just change if my diet steez was better But I like me the taste of a prime beef that’s tender Lol. This simple verse speaks volumes about approach. You stuck to a simple theme and it really worked for you. Nice drop, good word choices. Hit the topic well and stuck to a theme enough for me to say, “it works,” but in all reality, you underwrote. Jesodist – I’m concerned about your approach so I will break your verse down in relation to your topic. So “the path” stuck to your topic. Good. So you’re a little bit confused with your personal relationships, not good at communicating, that much I gather. You pretty much went with a juxtapose approach by saying you do not know where you’re going, so no road will take you anywhere. At least that’s how I’m relating your piece to your topic. I know what you mean. No one is really listening, man. They don’t care. You have to find purpose within yourself. You should think about taking on a union apprenticeship, they pay you like 20 bucks an hour just to train. Anyway, your verse was super personal and I appreciate that. You spoke from the heart here and I really like the message you have communicated. I feel you bro. but at the same time, I’m not sure if you hit the exact opposite tone of your topic on purpose.. it felt more like a rebuttal. I think your mechanics are your stronger point. You make it a point to match up rhyming syllables throughout your verse and it makes for an enjoyable read but you need to brainstorm a little bit more before you commit to a subject so you can produce formidable content matter. Mvgt – copypat had the more solid approach this week. That’s all there is to it. Although jesodist really poured his heart out, I think it was more of an OM drop then a topical battle drop. I don’t think either hit the topic head on enough to take it into consideration. Good battle tho. Thanks to both.