Week 15: (3-10) 2tripple0 vs. (1-1) Exis - EXIS 4-0

The Law · 11-06-2015, 12:30 AM

Exis - Started off slow, and then it began to pick up a nice rhythm while reading it. It was pretty smooth throughout. I thought it could have been a bit more story entailed with the approach that you took. Also felt on some of the lines that you were going for imagery they could have been displayed a bit more vividly to paint the pictures. Overall it was a decent drop and related to the quote. Just felt like something else was missing to really push the verse over the edge.

Triple - Pretty much the same critiques as Exis in a sense. I thought something was missing from the story aspect. This didn't feel to me as it really had a beginning or an end. You just started it in the middle, and it felt like it ended abruptly. It wasn't the smoothest of reads either. I think the one word rhymes have a large factor in the flow of your verse. It's one thing I noticed while reading your other verses as well. The lines aren't overly stretched but you don't seem to find a good rhythm in your writing for the readers to go over smoothly. Bars are supposed to roll of your tongue.

MVGT: Exis - I didn't think either verse was completely sound. Triple's flaws brought down his verse a bit more than exis. I also thought exis had a real nice flow once his verse picked up.

11-06-2015, 12:30 AM	#8
The Law Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 86 Battle Record: 3-2 Rep Power: 238319	Exis - Started off slow, and then it began to pick up a nice rhythm while reading it. It was pretty smooth throughout. I thought it could have been a bit more story entailed with the approach that you took. Also felt on some of the lines that you were going for imagery they could have been displayed a bit more vividly to paint the pictures. Overall it was a decent drop and related to the quote. Just felt like something else was missing to really push the verse over the edge. Triple - Pretty much the same critiques as Exis in a sense. I thought something was missing from the story aspect. This didn't feel to me as it really had a beginning or an end. You just started it in the middle, and it felt like it ended abruptly. It wasn't the smoothest of reads either. I think the one word rhymes have a large factor in the flow of your verse. It's one thing I noticed while reading your other verses as well. The lines aren't overly stretched but you don't seem to find a good rhythm in your writing for the readers to go over smoothly. Bars are supposed to roll of your tongue. MVGT: Exis - I didn't think either verse was completely sound. Triple's flaws brought down his verse a bit more than exis. I also thought exis had a real nice flow once his verse picked up. __________________