3-2 Frank vs. 2-1 Witty - WITTY 6-1

asylum · 10-23-2015, 03:30 AM

Frank – pitch forks? Wha? Ok. feeling the story, huge syllable counts being placated by impeccable assonance. Story jumped around skillfully. I love how you word things, fucking entertaining. The story wound down to a close artfully, and I think you may have chosen your last line for some shock value. Being crass, if you will. I think the technique was effective, classic Frank. “twistingly withers” was a bit of a stretch for me, at first. But then I thought about it.. and that’s probably a great description of what somebody looks like at the point of death via strangulation. I think maybe he hung one slave because he liked the one that fucked his wife, but just had to lash out somehow. Story felt true. Thanks Frank.

Witty – your first stanza ended VERY STRONG. It’s not very often I read a topical and wonder how it would be spit by it’s author, but you really put some effort into this piece and it shows in how it reads. Very smooth. Well crafted. .. “where the sharks sink from swimming.” .. just wow. Carrying on. Awh you fucker. Really? REALLY? That sick as verse just ended like that? That felt like a fuck you, to me. A very strong.. finely tuned, well written fuck you. I’m not even sure how I feel about this. Dude this piece is really sick.

I’m voting for Frank. I changed my mind five fucking times but Frank’s twist was a little more solid. I enjoyed Wittys mechanics more, but as a whole I think Frank nailed the topic better. This will undoubtedly be the closest battle of the week. Great job guys. I hope both of you win.

10-23-2015, 03:30 AM	#7
asylum Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 999 Battle Record: 7-5 Rep Power: 8214211	Frank – pitch forks? Wha? Ok. feeling the story, huge syllable counts being placated by impeccable assonance. Story jumped around skillfully. I love how you word things, fucking entertaining. The story wound down to a close artfully, and I think you may have chosen your last line for some shock value. Being crass, if you will. I think the technique was effective, classic Frank. “twistingly withers” was a bit of a stretch for me, at first. But then I thought about it.. and that’s probably a great description of what somebody looks like at the point of death via strangulation. I think maybe he hung one slave because he liked the one that fucked his wife, but just had to lash out somehow. Story felt true. Thanks Frank. Witty – your first stanza ended VERY STRONG. It’s not very often I read a topical and wonder how it would be spit by it’s author, but you really put some effort into this piece and it shows in how it reads. Very smooth. Well crafted. .. “where the sharks sink from swimming.” .. just wow. Carrying on. Awh you fucker. Really? REALLY? That sick as verse just ended like that? That felt like a fuck you, to me. A very strong.. finely tuned, well written fuck you. I’m not even sure how I feel about this. Dude this piece is really sick. I’m voting for Frank. I changed my mind five fucking times but Frank’s twist was a little more solid. I enjoyed Wittys mechanics more, but as a whole I think Frank nailed the topic better. This will undoubtedly be the closest battle of the week. Great job guys. I hope both of you win.