Asylum 2-3 vs. Timeless 3-5 - ASYLUM 5-0

The Law · 10-22-2015, 08:38 PM

Asylum - Content was nice and it flowed well. I like the relation to the lake and the fact that you are stuck between the beauty and the black ugliness. The imagery was done well and you did a good job depicting from the picture. However, the word usage here was a little bit too simplistic as well as the rhyme scheme. Besides that I thought you did a pretty decent job with this one.

Timeless - I thought your verse lacked the depiction from the picture. I didn't the upside down metaphor held strong from it. I like the approach you tried to take, however, to me I thought of it more as a mirror image. Writing wise I thought you did a great job, nice flow, great word usage and rhyme scheme/multi's. The story itself between the two different life/lifestyles of rose was well done.

MVGT: Asylum - Followed the topic better tbh. If it wasn't for that I thought timeless easily got this. However, I really didn't feel his metaphor worked well for this picture. It's not turned upside down and if it was they aren't complete opposites in the picture, everything is exactly identical. It's a spitting, symmetrical image from top to bottom. With that being said, I thought Asylum's verse was good enough to get by for my vote.

10-22-2015, 08:38 PM	#8
The Law Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 86 Battle Record: 3-2 Rep Power: 238319	Asylum - Content was nice and it flowed well. I like the relation to the lake and the fact that you are stuck between the beauty and the black ugliness. The imagery was done well and you did a good job depicting from the picture. However, the word usage here was a little bit too simplistic as well as the rhyme scheme. Besides that I thought you did a pretty decent job with this one. Timeless - I thought your verse lacked the depiction from the picture. I didn't the upside down metaphor held strong from it. I like the approach you tried to take, however, to me I thought of it more as a mirror image. Writing wise I thought you did a great job, nice flow, great word usage and rhyme scheme/multi's. The story itself between the two different life/lifestyles of rose was well done. MVGT: Asylum - Followed the topic better tbh. If it wasn't for that I thought timeless easily got this. However, I really didn't feel his metaphor worked well for this picture. It's not turned upside down and if it was they aren't complete opposites in the picture, everything is exactly identical. It's a spitting, symmetrical image from top to bottom. With that being said, I thought Asylum's verse was good enough to get by for my vote. __________________