Baron Mynd's Nasty Finds - "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover"

[sral]

Frozen

I didn't have high hopes for this one going into it. It was rated 15, which isn't the end of the world, but the majority of my shit is unrated or pre-certification so having those ratings on usually means it's child friendly or cut - two of the things I generally steer away from.

The film follows a young couple, and the guys best friend. They head up on to a ski resort and use one of those sky rides to get up. The problems start once they attempt to get back down, when the machine is stopped - a storm is incoming - and the park isn't due to re-open for 5 or so days!

One of the groups males decides he will jump down from the sky ride to try and get help. He jumps, lands, and ends up breaking both of his legs - with a glorious shot of the bone poking out of the side. That's pretty graphic and fucked up haha!

The two remaining friends in the sky ride cart realise if they don't act soon, their broken legged bro is gonna freeze and die in the wilderness. One strikes up the ingenious idea of climbing the cable car, then descending back on themselves to reach a car nearer the floor to avoid further bone breaking as they jump down. Just at this moment, a MOUNTAIN WOLF appears at the feet of the invalid who jumped down and broke both legs! Amazing. Luckily, one of them up in the cable cart unhooks their snowboard in time and it scares the mountain wolf away...

... The wolf returns with a pack this time though and they eat the friend, howling echoing throughout the snowcapped trees and mountain until silence envelops the remaining two friends. Good stuff!

The friends then start blaming each other for letting him jump, knowing it was too high. Both question each other but there was really little either could do in that situation. The movie returns to the following day, both friends are sat in the sky ride and it's been so cold - the females hand is frozen to the metallic safety bar on the cart. She peels it off as the skin sticks to the ice, frozen to it, leaving a bloody print where her hand had sat. That's a good scene!

There's an intermission where the two friends talk on what they'll do when they get home eyc before one of them attempts to climb back to the can behind - and makes it. He fights off a mountain wolf before grabbing a board and snowboarding down the mountain with a pack of wolves following. The one friend is still stuck in the sky ride for hours as day turns to night. She's heavily frost bitten and with no sign of he guy making it back to save her, starts looking to jump from the cart.

The cart at this point snaps, sending her towards the ground, only for it to suspend her mid way down. Clinging on for her life, the chords then start snapping and she's forced to jump before it crashes - saving her life, but the cart lands on her ankle - stopping her from walking. She crawls trough the snow, stumbling across the wolf pack as they devour a meal... what looks to be her friend!

She crawls on her stomach and falls down the mountain, finally reaching a point with passing traffic but is unable to stand to contact them or stop them for help. Someone eventually finds her asleep and exhausted at the foot of the snowy mountain and she's taken to safety. The end.

I'd have sooner it had a final horrific twist and ended badly, I'm not a fan of happy endings. This one was surprisingly decent despite its low age rating. I wouldn't put it in my "most disturbing" films at all, though some had, hence it being reviewed. Give this one a miss!