Half Wit It 0-0 Exis 0-0 - OPEN FOR FEED

The Law · 10-22-2015, 07:01 AM

Exis - The storyline and approach you took was pretty dope. Loved the way you ended it off. The imagery was nice as well, describing her message on the glass and that it disappears. Electricity line is another example of good imagery and use of descriptive words. For the most part the drop had a good rhythm, however, there was a few hiccups in the flow, at least for me while I was reading it. Other than that it was a solid drop with a good progressive storyline. A more what's happening in the moment approach than giving your character a background story throughout. Nice job.

10-22-2015, 07:01 AM	#5
The Law Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 86 Battle Record: 3-2 Rep Power: 238319	Exis - The storyline and approach you took was pretty dope. Loved the way you ended it off. The imagery was nice as well, describing her message on the glass and that it disappears. Electricity line is another example of good imagery and use of descriptive words. For the most part the drop had a good rhythm, however, there was a few hiccups in the flow, at least for me while I was reading it. Other than that it was a solid drop with a good progressive storyline. A more what's happening in the moment approach than giving your character a background story throughout. Nice job. __________________