3-2 Frank vs. 2-1 Witty - WITTY 6-1

e11even · 10-22-2015, 04:38 AM

Frank- nice. this was very interesting but not consistent in language or voice. I would have respected it more if the vernacular was all country slave-ish instead of plopping in distinguished words all "willy nilly". The part that was so confusing is that you seem to have experimented with the same technique you faltered on last week. The flashback/flash forward was too seamless and needed a navigational device to let the reader know who is getting hung, but it just comes off as a one-line at the end with no apparent connection to the events foretold. this was a cool read, but it would have been better if it didn't feel cluttered with underdefined characters and bad transitions. Good job overall though, Frankie.

Witty- wtf bro. Wtf. You pulled the same shit ol' boy did last week with the eating contest. That was sick. It was getting very stale toward the end, then you pulled out the prestige. A game of hangman. Genius. I swear I hadn't guessed at all. I was completely in the dark. Your execution barring the twist was ok, the rhyming was average and the build up was clever, yet kinda flat for my taste. But you clearly pulled it off with all those negatives. Nice work.

I think both competitors had compelling works and this could possibly go either way, tastes depending. Frank had the more enthralling story, but witty had the end flop following the straight forward and less confusing content. I think Frank is always big in the epics department, but MVGT Witty for the overall better read.

10-22-2015, 04:38 AM	#6
e11even V.V Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: . Posts: 2,076 Battle Record: 31-20 Rep Power: 6247259	Frank- nice. this was very interesting but not consistent in language or voice. I would have respected it more if the vernacular was all country slave-ish instead of plopping in distinguished words all "willy nilly". The part that was so confusing is that you seem to have experimented with the same technique you faltered on last week. The flashback/flash forward was too seamless and needed a navigational device to let the reader know who is getting hung, but it just comes off as a one-line at the end with no apparent connection to the events foretold. this was a cool read, but it would have been better if it didn't feel cluttered with underdefined characters and bad transitions. Good job overall though, Frankie. Witty- wtf bro. Wtf. You pulled the same shit ol' boy did last week with the eating contest. That was sick. It was getting very stale toward the end, then you pulled out the prestige. A game of hangman. Genius. I swear I hadn't guessed at all. I was completely in the dark. Your execution barring the twist was ok, the rhyming was average and the build up was clever, yet kinda flat for my taste. But you clearly pulled it off with all those negatives. Nice work. I think both competitors had compelling works and this could possibly go either way, tastes depending. Frank had the more enthralling story, but witty had the end flop following the straight forward and less confusing content. I think Frank is always big in the epics department, but MVGT Witty for the overall better read. __________________ Ahem.