Vividlyvague 0-0 vs Sovereign 0-0 - VIVID 5-2

Razah · 10-10-2015, 06:06 PM

Sovereign
"surrounded by soda in danger"

Huh- That shit made no sense to me, and it's only the second bar in. :/

Besides that, the first part was pretty smooth. Part 2, smooth as well.

Cool little story, I like how you broke it down into parts. Besides that random soda shit, everything was really smooth for me. Also, why did it go from David to Danny?

Vividlyvague.
Another cool story. I have no issues with the verse, actually thought it was pretty solid. I really appreciate both verses, story telling is something I haven't really dabbled in but can appreciate. Good job guys.

On to the vote.. Both had enjoyable stories, and I liked both verses. Neither had "stand out" lines or anything like that, and they were both very solidly written, but I feel like Sovereign's flow/rhyme scheme just made it so much easier to read. Off that alone, I have to vote for him. If V.V. would have had a better flow on his, this would've been a lot harder to vote on.

vSovereign

10-10-2015, 06:06 PM	#13
Razah rockkFresh Join Date: Apr 2015 Location: Chicago. Posts: 1,088 Battle Record: 8-10 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 11328545	Sovereign "surrounded by soda in danger" Huh- That shit made no sense to me, and it's only the second bar in. :/ Besides that, the first part was pretty smooth. Part 2, smooth as well. Cool little story, I like how you broke it down into parts. Besides that random soda shit, everything was really smooth for me. Also, why did it go from David to Danny? Vividlyvague. Another cool story. I have no issues with the verse, actually thought it was pretty solid. I really appreciate both verses, story telling is something I haven't really dabbled in but can appreciate. Good job guys. On to the vote.. Both had enjoyable stories, and I liked both verses. Neither had "stand out" lines or anything like that, and they were both very solidly written, but I feel like Sovereign's flow/rhyme scheme just made it so much easier to read. Off that alone, I have to vote for him. If V.V. would have had a better flow on his, this would've been a lot harder to vote on. vSovereign