Vividlyvague 0-0 vs Sovereign 0-0 - VIVID 5-2

Mr. J · 10-07-2015, 03:44 PM

Sovereign your verse was an interesting read to say the least
you really impressed me with the editing that you took to make this piece
I feel as though you may have cut out some important areas of the plot
perhaps even taken out character development to use the power of your vocab
your flow is quite impressive as well building the story in a eloquent fashion
I enjoy it but I really want more from it than what was presented...
regardless this was a nice verse aside from the use of dialogue

Vivid, its been awhile since Ive seen you around these parts
its nice to see you back, your verse comes across very well written
you draw off your topic and it presents itself as an interesting idea
regardless I feel like you built a great story and made use of your style
I was kind of thrown off by the middle verse & didnt know what I was reading
either way I feel like this was a fun piece, nice work brah

v/I feel as though both writers are evenly matched here, making it an interesting battle
sovereign seems new to me but he came with a very appropriate verse against his opponent
I feel with all the editing he may have done he dropped the character development for his verses outcome
which is an all around great verse, but suffers from leading me astray until the end
Vivid on the other hand was equally impressive & showcases an ever growing style
basically mirroring his opponent,I feel Vivid made better use of his concept of the topic
his verse came across easier on the eyes as while Sovereigns dialogue made me cringe
regardless nice battle fellas

v/Vividly

10-07-2015, 03:44 PM	#8
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	Sovereign your verse was an interesting read to say the least you really impressed me with the editing that you took to make this piece I feel as though you may have cut out some important areas of the plot perhaps even taken out character development to use the power of your vocab your flow is quite impressive as well building the story in a eloquent fashion I enjoy it but I really want more from it than what was presented... regardless this was a nice verse aside from the use of dialogue Vivid, its been awhile since Ive seen you around these parts its nice to see you back, your verse comes across very well written you draw off your topic and it presents itself as an interesting idea regardless I feel like you built a great story and made use of your style I was kind of thrown off by the middle verse & didnt know what I was reading either way I feel like this was a fun piece, nice work brah v/I feel as though both writers are evenly matched here, making it an interesting battle sovereign seems new to me but he came with a very appropriate verse against his opponent I feel with all the editing he may have done he dropped the character development for his verses outcome which is an all around great verse, but suffers from leading me astray until the end Vivid on the other hand was equally impressive & showcases an ever growing style basically mirroring his opponent,I feel Vivid made better use of his concept of the topic his verse came across easier on the eyes as while Sovereigns dialogue made me cringe regardless nice battle fellas v/Vividly __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you