ayo props to black for finally beating me last season

[NYCSPITZ]

Originally Posted by Chyeahhh!!!

I've beaten you and we haven't even battled.

I have eight gigawatt, sustainable 5 mile radius, CIA grade flashlights locked in my mountain hideaway. 12 years of chef boyardee and at least 7 weeks worth of whiskey. I have anti-alien missiles that have latent radioactive isotopes ready to activate remotely at my leisure, destroying any entity within an 8 galaxy supercluster. I have vegan belnders made from horse hairs and recycled glass, and 800 pounds of dried, non perishable, FBI-grade kale at my disposal. I have canteens of 88.0 level ph, pristine ice water from an uncharted moon circling nibiru's elliptical gravitational axis.

I have batteries.

I have every show ever recorded on netflix, all stored on one 3 millimeter length USB harddrive. I have to cure to AIDS. I also have my bunker on highground in a himalayan mountain in case I need that advantage. I have 700,000,000 oxygen tanks. I have beef jerky, 12 cases of fleshlights, and 600 billion pixels of redtube pornography, archived at my disposal. I have infared saunas and 70 mile scope rifles. I have limited edition comic books, and Armenian sex slaves brought over by Russians on the NYC coast who only deal in cash. They are willing now, because of my immeasurable cornucopia of supplies. I have wit and talent. I have perserverance.

I have the myriad call of hibernating whiskey barrel dogs biomechanically engineered to survive the apocalypse. I have a natural cooling system being that I live in a himalayan mountain. I have grey alien technology geothermal that can reach my cavernous zenith, apex and pinnacle and provide me heat as well. I have integrity. I have courage. I have 15 chocolate power bars, and 77 unwaxed, indestructible candles. I have journals, pencils and pens. I have grenades.

I win.