Wek 8: 2Tripple0 2-4 vs. Timeless 1-2 [Timeless 5-0]

UnbornBuddha · 09-15-2015, 11:09 PM

2triple wrote something very simple, I think he is capable of more. I don't know, it's hard to say more. This reads like something I would have written when I was in grammar school. And the part where you began to talk about the site was just distasteful. It's not creative nor experimentally sound to talk about the website you write in a topical, perhaps some could do it. But, that's more for like freestyles, not for this type of writing.

Timeless: This felt quick paced without a misstep. While, not being conceptually mind-blowing it was a solid read. Sometimes your wording does read a bit awkward, something about the syntax or perhaps its more the transitioning from line to line. if you could improve upon the smoothness and the interconnectedness of one line to the next, it will make your piece a lot stronger, in general.

Regardless, vote: Timeless

09-15-2015, 11:09 PM	#7
UnbornBuddha Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 Battle Record: 23-10 Champed - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 5 Rep Power: 23856379	2triple wrote something very simple, I think he is capable of more. I don't know, it's hard to say more. This reads like something I would have written when I was in grammar school. And the part where you began to talk about the site was just distasteful. It's not creative nor experimentally sound to talk about the website you write in a topical, perhaps some could do it. But, that's more for like freestyles, not for this type of writing. Timeless: This felt quick paced without a misstep. While, not being conceptually mind-blowing it was a solid read. Sometimes your wording does read a bit awkward, something about the syntax or perhaps its more the transitioning from line to line. if you could improve upon the smoothness and the interconnectedness of one line to the next, it will make your piece a lot stronger, in general. Regardless, vote: Timeless