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#1 |
Erebus
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 435
Battle Record: 6-1
Champed - Art of Writing League
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![]() Why Do I Write Topicals?
Why I’d write a topical? That’s something that I’d ought to know, I guess it’s cause the rapping acumen I had was nominal, The monotonoish audios that I released were comical, Inaudible, I write because my Scottish voice was horrible, I say that to myself, but do I want to rock the boat? Scared of what I’ll find if I topple all the dominoes? I read between intentions to reveal a different question; Are we deceitful when we mention that it’s freedom of expression? Does it release from me some tension? A meagre way of venting? A peaceful deed preventing all the features of depression? Or is it preaching and presenting of a preconceived impression? The notion that my deep emotions teaches you a lesson? The insight that inside I know the rights and wrongs, And when I rhyme along I somehow think that I belong? Or is it less than that? Was it actually my fate? When I rattle on the cage I guess my battle skills had aged, When the day that this was rendered, maybe I surrendered? Was I imagining some assonance would make me a contender? Maybe I had reckoned, the day my name had lessened, Cause I listened in my English class I’d make it as a legend? I can sort of say it sort of made me want to walk away, But being honest Abe I wanna make a Hall of Fame, We treat it like these verses will, become a living journal filled, We act like it’s external spills of words we feel are personal, We say it’s why we rap and write but if we could believe that, Would we join some battle sites and ask of them some feedback? I guess we’ve all got reasons, of why a person wants to write, A labyrinth of answers and I guess there is no wrong and right, Since I’ve had it on my mind the thoughts I had have modified, This alone has kept me going……I guess it keeps me occupied. Last edited by EtH; 09-12-2015 at 01:06 PM. |
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#2 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
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Dope as fuck shit Eth, glad to see you back, I noticed you were slumming it at RB recently... Felt like linking you here but glad to see you're home safe!
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#3 |
Erebus
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 435
Battle Record: 6-1
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Cheers for reading it man. I'm gonna float about all the sites this time around instead of just picking one cause there's plenty of guys worth collabing with and shit so there's no point limiting myself to one place. You have instantly got NC in the lead of which domain I type in first considering you read this like 20 minutes (EDIT: 15 minutes) after I posted it where as I put it everywhere else first to no responses :D
I'll try and get at at least one of the OM drops today, probably two to enforce an unenforced 2 feedlink rule. EDIT 2: Lmao at "dope as fuck shit EtH". I guess there's no bigger compliment then people thinking "Dope as fuck doesnt quite do it justice, I feel that at the very least one more swear word needs to be in there" haha. Last edited by EtH; 09-12-2015 at 12:51 PM. |
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#4 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,608
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
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- Topical Martyrs
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You're Scottish. I'm English. I feel we at least have that volatile outburst in common!
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#5 |
Erebus
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 435
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Get the fuck out of my thread and take the 55% of wankers with you.
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#6 |
Banned
Join Date: Aug 2014
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miss u 2
Last edited by Pharaohs Army; 10-23-2016 at 07:46 PM. |
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#7 | |
The COAT...
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: BC, Canada
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This was a nice read EmT, I'll give you some proper feed when I'm not writing two verses >.<
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#8 | |
Erebus
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 435
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#9 |
ghost in the matrix
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Covington, KY
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Erebus?
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#10 |
Om
Join Date: Jan 2013
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smooth shit homie. like a laxative. classic. content wise you kept this on point and wrapped it up very nicely. The scheming was cool too, even allowing me to look past the fact that the verse is centered! Fag!
jk, but the beginning half is when your schemes were the tightest and most expertly crafted. Nice, enjoyable read. Id like to see more.
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#11 |
Erebus
Join Date: Jun 2013
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Erebus!
Next time ima change it to comic sans.
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#12 |
ghost in the matrix
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Covington, KY
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Holy fuckin shit it's been way too long brother how you been?
Lil yd btw lol Where the hell have you been?
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#13 |
Erebus
Join Date: Jun 2013
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I went inactive for a long time because people kept trying to catch up with me every time I dropped an OM........
:D Nah I've not really been around the rap site circuit in a bit now. Decided to get back into the swing of writing with this drop. Will be looking to try and collab with a lot of different writers over the next while. You still have the most depressing life and stories ever?
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#14 |
ghost in the matrix
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Covington, KY
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Lmfao no I'm finally passed that shit! Gotta beautiful wife and 2 kids
I think barshotz took over the depressed role cuz last time I talked to him...2 or 3 years ago he was telling me to try crack an heroin cuz the high was better lmao
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#15 | |
Erebus
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 435
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http://www.soundclick.com/bands/defa...?bandID=945674 Feed the verse above as well homogloben!
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#16 | |
ghost in the matrix
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Covington, KY
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An word let me get the kids lunch finished an I'll feed you next
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#17 |
LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CRUMPETVILLE
Posts: 8,608
Battle Record: 28-3
Champed - Gimmick Battle League
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@EtH get involved in the AOWL ish!
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#18 |
Erebus
Join Date: Jun 2013
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I dunno if I want to sign up to compete in anything since deadlines are usually the reason I lose interest in writing. If you need votes on anything send me a PM with links though.
YD, I completely forgot about RRG. I know you from loads of sites (actually, I still even know your current NC password, or at least I used to unless you changed it :D) and I know BAR SHOTZ from him being in basically the first real crew I ever joined way back in 2007. Forgot we all ran a site at one point though. Crazy how shit links up on these sites.
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#19 |
Lime Life
Join Date: Jan 2013
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It's good...I mean it's not ME good...but it's good.
lol nah this was nice tho, good to see you posting.
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#20 |
Steel Cut
Join Date: May 2013
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the title grabbed me, and the writing propelled me to continue reading. content wise, it's obviously easy to connect with for most of us here, and many of the feelings resonate. at the same time, there's nothing new here. no interesting insight, no moment of impact. it lacked the mayo, so to speak, the zing that makes this different from any other good-not-great piece of writing. I'm not familiar with your previous body of work, but if I were to guess, I'd say this was a pretty light effort. not that there's anything wrong with that, sometimes it's just fun to write.
technically, it's well-crafted. it carves out a rhythm that's easy to follow and sticks inside those parameters neatly, which is no easy feat. basing this off of pure mechanics, you're clearly a capable rhyme-writer. here's the caveat: something about this is very bland to me, to be honest. the writing itself is fine, but the cadence and structure of this was really basic. it probably sounds harsh, but this is the type of reason why I don't really enjoy topical writing anymore. it's super formulaic. it feels like you checked off all the boxes of what makes a good topical verse (which you did, by the way - this is very well-written), but it's just really forgettable for me. no real standout lines, no clever turns of phrase, no wording or descriptiveness that hinted at anything more than just the surface meaning. in a different light, I could see this being almost an homage to the rap fantasy type storytelling verses of the early 90s (think "Case of the Misplaced Mic"), but as it stands, this just doesn't do much for me. sorry if this is overly critical, but you're good enough to deserve some honest critique instead of "yo this shit is dope." I'll say this: you have the ability to write well in this format, no question. enough so that I'll likely read future verses from you (I always haunt the OM, though I rarely leave feed). I hope that you'll take more creative licenses structurally and experiment more. take more risks, that sort of thing. you should join the AOWL though.
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