thankful

[Split Eight]

Originally Posted by Eŋg

I need rhyming to knot my livelier conceits.
I need lines that I jot to provide a concrete
I can flatten my face against.

Nice. Very squared away & nicely metered.

The life I've lived questions the way it went

Probably my favorite line from anyone in a very long time. Even though it's unassuming, it's the cornerstone of the verse. Illustrates both the futility of being frustrated with the past and the irony of not being entirely at peace with who you are. Thirdly, shows how perspectives shift and we grow to see our actions differently with the passing of time.

It’s an act just like this that I sprang from.
Damn, son.
I’m not thankful that I’m my Dad’s son.
I’m thankful that I’m handsome,
which means my priorities are messed up:
I’ve wounds these fine threads can’t dress up.
Bleeding the thought is cathartic I guess, but
revisiting notions is sort of carving the next cut.
Yet I’m thankful for the hammer, the anvil, the pencil,
shaping my gait for any hardship I went through.

This ending was awesome, especially those first few lines. The "bleeding the thought" to "carving the next cut" bit was my least favorite part of the verse. Otherwise, great drop. Very strong wording throughout, and if most people stitch together a rhyme scheme then you weave together a pair of Nike Flyknits.

Sort of an ode to how seeing value in yourself is what makes life itself valuable. Focuses on the struggle to stay above the surface when it feels like you're treading water. Very much enjoyed the overall composition as well as the adherence to the title/ central purpose.

love how your writing is firmly rooted in itself & entirely self-contained rather than transparently & eclectically drawing on a thousand inspirations at once like so many others here- not that one style is better than the other, it's just that yours seems to be the most independent and self-generated. Obviously we are all constantly influenced by any and everything, but it's like you have an entirely different process.