I met a girl on Tinder. Used her hair to choke her.

[UnbornBuddha]

You write very similar to another persona here, I won't say who, just because I don't want to pervade any baseless accusations. Anyways, I don't necessarily think this was wack. What gives it that illusion is that first there is this clunky paragraph format that is just unappealing, along with the fact that it doesn't rhyme. So just off the bat, your asking a lot of the reader around here to bypass, in order to get through the material. I know you probably don't want to conform to norm, but consider reformatting it because it looks disastrous.

Now, the material itself has an intelligent voice behind it, that is quite unique. However, a gripe about it is that there is this questioning that does not lead to anywhere. Now, while this does tell me about the way your mind works, entrenched in pensiveness, it offers no substance, but just a filling of empty space. Now, while the questioning of your own thoughts and their origins, and their existential definitions is important, one must also balance it with something more concrete, so as to exemplify practicality. I mean I think you do write quite good, but the pieces of late have been kind of emotionally empty, which might be what your going for considering your name is "something". In fact, this is how your verse feels, like "something", but nothing too specific, only vaguely resembling existence and the correlative moods and shades of emotions that go along with it. This reads very self-conscious as well, in a way it kinds of portrays a gothic persona, who is unsure about their place in the world, and so they observe it from a third-person perspective, even examining themselves in this lens, thus only fortifying detachment that is not rooted in transcendence practices, but of mental turbidity and lack of self-confidence.

Again, I'm not saying this are your characteristics, but this what I'm deriving as I read this. I derived a lot more, but I think that's enough.

Thank you, keep writing.