AOWL Week 10: nO goOd! (0-1) VS. Just Write (0-2) [JUST WRITE WINS, 6-3.]

ZeeDee · 04-26-2013, 12:45 AM

Just write, excellent character development, which I find to be one of the most important elements of a story.... you built this character as a solider and built his experiences as a solider within the story.... descriptive and image filled portaits were painted with a pretty cool choice of words made this nice to read as the sniper character is developed... I was feeling this for the most part... nice writing

No good, this wqas a good concept to expqand on and this piece is just rough around the edges.... a friendship in boot camp and in the services is a concept that can have several character twists and you did that nicely as well with the combat at the end... your narration and flow didn't keep up with the story.. few more lines witth rhymes and maybe some graphics on the details since its war...... that would of been really nice to read....

Vote just write

04-26-2013, 12:45 AM	#9
ZeeDee Warriors All The Way Baby Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 136 Battle Record: 6-4 Champed Art of Writing League Rep Power: 83708	Just write, excellent character development, which I find to be one of the most important elements of a story.... you built this character as a solider and built his experiences as a solider within the story.... descriptive and image filled portaits were painted with a pretty cool choice of words made this nice to read as the sniper character is developed... I was feeling this for the most part... nice writing No good, this wqas a good concept to expqand on and this piece is just rough around the edges.... a friendship in boot camp and in the services is a concept that can have several character twists and you did that nicely as well with the combat at the end... your narration and flow didn't keep up with the story.. few more lines witth rhymes and maybe some graphics on the details since its war...... that would of been really nice to read.... Vote just write __________________ Welcome to my mind, thoughts that cause contamination By random agents: suspended in violent animation You've entered the corridors of a horror lord Your fate awaits... Prepare for your journey through this world explorer