AOWL Week 10: DeadLion (0-0) VS. pohfig (4-3) [POHFIG WINS, 10-0.]

zygote · 04-25-2013, 10:41 PM

Deadlion, very descriptive but no strong themes or anything of interesting substance. E.g., crystal clear skies, a cashier in the daylight. You are describing things with great poetic quality but it lacked the reason why you were describing it beyond a simple story. Perhaps, story lacked some other themes or symbolism could improve it.

Pohfig, also used the vivid descriptive but had a deeper concept. Especially enjoyed the comparisons of eating/gorging behavior and consumerism behavior. Also, the themes of self-destructive behavior within society, enjoyed these cynical references to human nature. Voted for Pohfig.

04-25-2013, 10:41 PM	#9
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	Deadlion, very descriptive but no strong themes or anything of interesting substance. E.g., crystal clear skies, a cashier in the daylight. You are describing things with great poetic quality but it lacked the reason why you were describing it beyond a simple story. Perhaps, story lacked some other themes or symbolism could improve it. Pohfig, also used the vivid descriptive but had a deeper concept. Especially enjoyed the comparisons of eating/gorging behavior and consumerism behavior. Also, the themes of self-destructive behavior within society, enjoyed these cynical references to human nature. Voted for Pohfig.