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#7 |
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,868
Battle Record: 17-32
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Hush - Short and sweet. A bit predictable that it'd be about some technology ish so not really that creative in terms of out of the box thinking regarding the topic but shit was decent imo. Your closure to me is also reflecting on how the modern day is a bit dumbed down. Some cool wordplay in there, shit wasn't just modern in terms of the topic but in terms of writing as well. I enjoyed the read.
Destroyer - Same thing with Hush, kind of predictable the way you went with your piece regarding the topic but the piece itself wasn't and it was executed well. Overall it was cool to me. Vote: Both of you went kind of in a similar direction and you already know what I think about punctuation/grammar so I'm not bringing it up. That said; Hush's shit was short and sweet, so was Destro's. I felt Destroyers poem had a bit more of a story and depth whereas Hush went along with a shorter and less personal one. Kind of hard to pick a winner because I felt both had shit the other one lacked. I enjoyed Hush's ''the American dream turns to a nightmare of ambien''-kind of language while Destroyer was a little bit more simple. Perhaps another stanza or some shit and Hush could have picked up my vote? Idk but Destroyer had a better overall feel to the verse as a whole, and all things considered I felt Destroyer edges it and ends up snatching my vote.
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I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o |
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