Sn00p vs ribbit - (Sn00p wins)

sral · 07-05-2015, 05:22 AM

lmao I'll preface my vote by saying I have to the slightest clue on poetry or what constitutes a good verse etc

I just read and vote based on which I liked more. I'm like a caveman of votes in it's primitive form, but here goes...

Ribbit: I thought the second half of your drop was great, if read to me like you just let the pen take the verse where it would and after the edge of the world/who would catch you? line, this nearer the end was dope:

I'm the son of its senator
Regard me highly exaulted and most supreme
And even as his valley can't be crossed by this regime
I'm prepared to understand its misuse
Like people trying their hand with a gun
Or abortion even suicides or meaningless violence
Voices antagonizing as ambulances sirens

That was a completely different level to the rest of your drop. You hit form there and carried it to the end!

Sn00p: You crazy German! Okay so to my untrained eye, this kind of verse with short meter and easy rhyme scheme is obviously going to appeal more. It just will. When I think of a poem, that's exactly how it goes in my head. You wrote this surprisingly well actually, probably the best verse I've read in the LGPA so far. I read Vulgars interpretation about the Sun etc but I took this to be an end of worlds almost, possibly the sun combusting, but also possibly a nuclear attack that kills is all? I think the ending is left a little open for the reader and I like that, rather than having it all spelt out to us. Really nicely written. I've got sn00p winning this one!

Keep those pens moving!

07-05-2015, 05:22 AM	#10
sral LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: CRUMPETVILLE Posts: 8,614 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899396	lmao I'll preface my vote by saying I have to the slightest clue on poetry or what constitutes a good verse etc I just read and vote based on which I liked more. I'm like a caveman of votes in it's primitive form, but here goes... Ribbit: I thought the second half of your drop was great, if read to me like you just let the pen take the verse where it would and after the edge of the world/who would catch you? line, this nearer the end was dope: I'm the son of its senator Regard me highly exaulted and most supreme And even as his valley can't be crossed by this regime I'm prepared to understand its misuse Like people trying their hand with a gun Or abortion even suicides or meaningless violence Voices antagonizing as ambulances sirens That was a completely different level to the rest of your drop. You hit form there and carried it to the end! Sn00p: You crazy German! Okay so to my untrained eye, this kind of verse with short meter and easy rhyme scheme is obviously going to appeal more. It just will. When I think of a poem, that's exactly how it goes in my head. You wrote this surprisingly well actually, probably the best verse I've read in the LGPA so far. I read Vulgars interpretation about the Sun etc but I took this to be an end of worlds almost, possibly the sun combusting, but also possibly a nuclear attack that kills is all? I think the ending is left a little open for the reader and I like that, rather than having it all spelt out to us. Really nicely written. I've got sn00p winning this one! Keep those pens moving! __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)