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#1 |
The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349682 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Well this was lopsided..
Geno, I'm loving the steam that your building to get where you are you really show some glimmers of breaking out of the rust box you are in the construction of your verse seems pretty well crafted & flows quite well your first stumble was rhyming 'pecker' & 'dead bird' I literally lol'd I'm like what in the fuuu...either way you shined against your opponent mania, I enjoy the difference in structure of your verse for me when I read pieces like this I feel like I need a rapid fire flow for it 4 to 6 lines in a verse usually makes me feel robbed though I feel that if you worked on it and fleshed it out some more it would be great but you aren't out of touch with how you want to express yourself you grasp onto the idea quickly and it would be interesting to watch you grow otherwise I feel like the pace of your verse was outmatched my Geno's verse had you been placed against someone in the same style as yours you would survive but at times like this it would be best to come with that weight rather than grace nice work though... v/Geno, Geno's verse just seemed to flow better and seemed more on point that mania's I enjoyed both works regardless of there flaws and found both writers to shine quite well either way...nice battle fella's
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#2 |
Wes Gil is a faggot
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Philly
Posts: 92
Rep Power: 6085833 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Last edited by mayniuhh; 06-13-2015 at 11:26 PM. |
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