Yall ever had an ex gf? (Or bf @fresh @barcotic)

[Motherly Wisdom]

It's a sad day when men brag about their women on a forum. Though in reference to the title I did once meet this man named fresh... he tried to get me to do the horizontal hokey-pokey with him. I promptly refused and he wept with the fury of twenty six pink rainbows.

As for my woman... I in all honesty am not at all proud of her. I just keep her around for sex and cleaning, I could care less if she gets set on fire. Raped or cheating, no since I am a man and I want my possessions to be only mine. But if she were to crash a car (that isn't mine, I'd be furious if bitch crashed my car) and flutter to the great garage in the sky I would mourn by drinking a quart of ale and convincing some fortunate woman that doing the boing bump will prove therapeutic to me and temporarily life-improving to her.

But I have deviated from the original topic: if I had an ex who had a skilled vagina/butt in regards to yanking the pleasure from my fatherhood wand and she seeked a sideways sparring session I would likely oblige and then steal something of material value afterwards because I do believe I should be getting compensated for my time.