Razah 0-0 vs non 0-0 - RAZAH WINS BY NOSHOW

[Sharp]

Netcees Battle League Season VIII

Rules

Due Dates:

• Verses are due Thursday, May 7th 2014 11:59 PM PST. and will be open until the following Sunday
• Battles that lack votes may close later.
• One sided battles may get closed early.
• Extensions are 24 hours

Line Limit:

• Minimum of 10, maximum of 16
• If not agreed upon, second drop must match length of the first

For additional Rules refer to rule thread


First to 5, win by at least two votes
Good luck!
@Razah @non

[Razah]

cool.

[Razah]

So, uhm.

Nobody battles- Crack jokes & laugh, it's what they happen to do
And now I'm part of them too since I learned I was battling you
It's been so long, still, I'm killing this dweeb
How could I lose to someone named after what Indians eat//
That's nonsense- It doesn't matter what you say now
All that shit is played out, even saying that shit is played out
Please, take that smirk off, homie don't be lacking
Guarantee that smile ain't the only thing that's cracking//
This is like a mosh pit with bombs bitch, don't step to me man
Cuz I'll put a slash in your throat & make room for the rest of the band

[Sharp]

Nobody battles- Crack jokes & laugh, it's what they happen to do
And now I'm part of them too since I learned I was battling you
what
It's been so long, still, I'm killing this dweeb
How could I lose to someone named after what Indians eat//
ok you've found the potential for a flip now you have to use it a little more effectively
That's nonsense- It doesn't matter what you say now
All that shit is played out, even saying that shit is played out
I dont follow
Please, take that smirk off, homie don't be lacking
Guarantee that smile ain't the only thing that's cracking//
you're flipping an idiom which is good but you can expand on that idea a lil more if it makes it hit
This is like a mosh pit with bombs bitch, don't step to me man
Cuz I'll put a slash in your throat & make room for the rest of the band
actually thought this was good

not terrible. I suspect this was a 'hes not showing' keystyle but if you want me to elaborate pm me

[jilti]

Originally Posted by Razah

So, uhm.

Nobody battles- Crack jokes & laugh, it's what they happen to do
And now I'm part of them too since I learned I was battling you
not too bad
It's been so long, still, I'm killing this dweeb
How could I lose to someone named after what Indians eat//
dont like
That's nonsense- It doesn't matter what you say now
All that shit is played out, even saying that shit is played out
nope
Please, take that smirk off, homie don't be lacking
Guarantee that smile ain't the only thing that's cracking//
decent
This is like a mosh pit with bombs bitch, don't step to me man
Cuz I'll put a slash in your throat & make room for the rest of the band
liked it. Good wording

[Cashius]

Originally Posted by Razah

So, uhm.

Nobody battles- Crack jokes & laugh, it's what they happen to do
And now I'm part of them too since I learned I was battling you

Pretty basic and a bit stale

It's been so long, still, I'm killing this dweeb
How could I lose to someone named after what Indians eat//

I don't get it. Sorry.

That's nonsense- It doesn't matter what you say now
All that shit is played out, even saying that shit is played out

Nah. Not feeling it.

Please, take that smirk off, homie don't be lacking
Guarantee that smile ain't the only thing that's cracking//

Too basic. Stale. You need to be more creative.

This is like a mosh pit with bombs bitch, don't step to me man
Cuz I'll put a slash in your throat & make room for the rest of the band

That's a bit better. Try using more lines like this where everything isn't so obvious and basic.