Younger Generation

Zen · 04-17-2013, 10:27 AM

I read this in an old man voice and pictured you writing this while sitting in a recliner with slacks pulled up to your chest as Matlock plays on TV.
But anywho as far as the piece is concerned...I didn't enjoy it. The rhyme scheme was much too simple for my taste and the lines were very stretched which in turn fucked up the flow. I'd suggest practicing in some cyphers and viewing other pieces around the OM. Keep droppin man.

04-17-2013, 10:27 AM	#2
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	I read this in an old man voice and pictured you writing this while sitting in a recliner with slacks pulled up to your chest as Matlock plays on TV. But anywho as far as the piece is concerned...I didn't enjoy it. The rhyme scheme was much too simple for my taste and the lines were very stretched which in turn fucked up the flow. I'd suggest practicing in some cyphers and viewing other pieces around the OM. Keep droppin man.