Staples

Pharaohs Army · 03-17-2015, 01:07 AM

I've got to say that this is impressive.
Structurally I admire the way you choose to break up your lines, helping the flow. Something I'm currently working
on.
This part entertained me the most and was dope:
they say environment picks up for where genetics are careless
meaning "you" are just a mixture of your friends and your parents
any sense of awareness boasted is illogical strides
life's a stage of nurtured monologues and genomic asides

^The ending metaphor ties together the first couplet succinctly and cleverly. Plus the rhymes are very good.

03-17-2015, 01:07 AM	#3
Pharaohs Army Banned Join Date: Aug 2014 Posts: 2,956 Battle Record: 6 - 14 Rep Power: 0	I've got to say that this is impressive. Structurally I admire the way you choose to break up your lines, helping the flow. Something I'm currently working on. This part entertained me the most and was dope: they say environment picks up for where genetics are careless meaning "you" are just a mixture of your friends and your parents any sense of awareness boasted is illogical strides life's a stage of nurtured monologues and genomic asides ^The ending metaphor ties together the first couplet succinctly and cleverly. Plus the rhymes are very good.