AOWL Week 9: TopicalDood5 (3-0) vs. c.d.m. (2-6) [TOPICALDOOD5 WINS, 5-3.]

Xces · 04-16-2013, 05:04 PM

TD - You had a clean verse with some really well worded multi's I felt like it was off in one or two places but nothing immensely distracting from the point or the flow of the piece.
I like the way you approached the gaming topic and spoke on many different forms well staying within the realm of violent video games to get the ending point across. It's all around well written.

CDM- The message of parents being over bearing to the child and how that can harm them is a great take on the topic and your presented it nicely. I feel like you could have worded a few things quite a bit better. There isn't a whole hell of a lot to say aside from that. I feel like it didn't grab my attention enough nearing the end it kind of tapered off and left me feeling less interested then the start of the piece.

V / Topical

04-16-2013, 05:04 PM	#10
Xces Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 66 Battle Record: 2-0 Rep Power: 38	TD - You had a clean verse with some really well worded multi's I felt like it was off in one or two places but nothing immensely distracting from the point or the flow of the piece. I like the way you approached the gaming topic and spoke on many different forms well staying within the realm of violent video games to get the ending point across. It's all around well written. CDM- The message of parents being over bearing to the child and how that can harm them is a great take on the topic and your presented it nicely. I feel like you could have worded a few things quite a bit better. There isn't a whole hell of a lot to say aside from that. I feel like it didn't grab my attention enough nearing the end it kind of tapered off and left me feeling less interested then the start of the piece. V / Topical __________________ "A culture is only as great as its dreams, and its dreams are dreamed by artists." -L. Ron Hubbard