first rap

[Zen]

Since you fed my verse holmes I'll feed you and give you some constructive feedback. First off the rhyming is much too simple (find you, bind you). Practice using bigger vocabulary like when you think up an idea for a rhyme while you're writing say "what is a bigger word for 'find' that I can use". Using a bigger vocabulary makes the piece much more interesting and doesn't make it seem montonous. My adivice would be for now to read other pieces here in the Open Mic and see what other experienced writers do and notice what you like about their pieces and try to replicate it with your own style you know what I mean. Also try out the cyphers they're great for practicing. Keep droppin man.