WK9: Certain (7-1) vs. Pent uP (2-1) [Pent uP wins, 4-2.]

Arid · 12-06-2014, 01:31 PM

DOPE

PentUp, current. I was wrapped in your story, engrossed. I like how you plotted this. The narrative grew naturally and had the feel of a flashback montage. Your ending felt a little rushed, and the reveal at the end was daring. There's something missing, and I can't really explain why, but I feel like this wasn't quite as powerful as it had the potential to be.

Certain, challenging. Your comparison seemed a bit one-sided. More time was spent outlining and defending the atheist view than the religious. It actually came off well though, because from my experience, religion is one sided, and many religious people won't spend time logically explaining themselves. More often they spout dogma and claim you are a sinner for not taking things at face value. Wording and flow here were effective, cleverly rhymed and clearly understood.

Vote-Certain. Pent wrapped his verse nicely, and the narrative progression was flawless. But I feel he didn't embellish enough here, the whole thing was dry and felt like an overview, where Certain struck emotional chords with purpose.

12-06-2014, 01:31 PM	#4
Arid HONGRY Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 57 Battle Record: 2-2 Rep Power: 0	DOPE PentUp, current. I was wrapped in your story, engrossed. I like how you plotted this. The narrative grew naturally and had the feel of a flashback montage. Your ending felt a little rushed, and the reveal at the end was daring. There's something missing, and I can't really explain why, but I feel like this wasn't quite as powerful as it had the potential to be. Certain, challenging. Your comparison seemed a bit one-sided. More time was spent outlining and defending the atheist view than the religious. It actually came off well though, because from my experience, religion is one sided, and many religious people won't spend time logically explaining themselves. More often they spout dogma and claim you are a sinner for not taking things at face value. Wording and flow here were effective, cleverly rhymed and clearly understood. Vote-Certain. Pent wrapped his verse nicely, and the narrative progression was flawless. But I feel he didn't embellish enough here, the whole thing was dry and felt like an overview, where Certain struck emotional chords with purpose.