Sixers Finally Win Thanks To A Robbery.

[timeless]

I keyed this up before the Phoenix game last week, the sixers are at 0-17 so this is still relevant. @Sharp Nine @Certain @basketball heads




"Sixers Finally Win Thanks To A Robbery"
Narratted by Malik Rose
Starring : Eric Bledsoe, Nerlens Noel, Brett Brown, Sam Hinkie and a SPECIAL GUEST!

Hi, my name's Malik Rose, and welcome to tonight's game.
The Suns are in town, but its looking like it might rain.
I really don't feel like announcing this whole thing, I'll be back.
Thinking of taking a nap after I tackle some snacks.
After the first half...
We're heading down the last stretch of the fourth quarter.
Sixers up by 4, Phoenix need Bledsoe, a born scorer,
to lure Nerlens outside to create some floor spacing.
His 3-foot flat-top pointed at the exit doors waving
his finger, doing his best Mutombo impersonation.
Bledsoe told him, "Yo, I love those jumbo sneakers you be laced in."
Mr. Noel blushed, thanked him and went to shake his hand,
when Eric hit a three, Noel had forced him out of stance.
A 4 point play opportunity is coming to tie it up.
Eric lunges it from the stripe and the crowd shouts, 'FUCK!'
Brett Brown calls a timeout, looking lesser than proud.
Then he stabs the basketball with a knife and draws a technical foul.
Eric hit the free throw, putting his club up by a long one.
That's when the court flooded with men and their drawn guns.
One man took center with a microphone in hand.
The crowd gasped, "It's me, Allen Iverson. Please stand.
I will rob every single person in this building,
but I won't if the Sixers sign me for one year, one million."
Sam Hinkie, the Sixers GM rushed out with a contract.
Handed Allen a pen, showed him where to sign in fact.
A.I. thanked his fans, the team and the game resumed.
He took the court in his street clothes, looking faded too.
Coach asked if he was high, he replied, "Yeah man, so what?
It's just Coke, weed doesn't let me get a chance to run."
Nerlens inbounded the ball to Iverson who's wide open.
Drained it in the Suns' face and left their pride broken.
Shortly after the Sixers won their first game, the headaches began.
Allen was nowhere to be found and his reasons were bad.
The front office waived him after a week went by, but A.I. didn't cry.
Actually, he went on TV and complained about it Live.
"They talking about practice, not a game, practice!"
At least his shenanigans had the entire world laughing.

NEXT UP : Kwame Brown Goes Camping

[Sharp]

Legit lol'd at malik rose giving up at the beginning and nerlens blushing haha. Fun read, I thought the first half had some strong flow too

[Geno]

Cool story. Dug this. Playful concept