Zygote, I really like how concise each and every word is throughout your verse. The point of view in this piece was wonderfully refreshing. The primitive/simian fear line really stood out to me. 100 trillion to the power of 100 trillion made me smile, nice hyperbole. This verse lived up to you unique persona, I certainly enjoyed it.
Frank, I enjoy the realness in your writing. Colloquial, but with positive connotations. You seamlessly take a noteworthy section of imagery and detail and follow it up with stuff like "Long story short ya'll... Eviction is a mu’fucka.
" You deff pull it off. Kind of ironic after just posting that quote as an example, but what I disliked most about your verse was it's length. You tell an awesome story but doing so using less words would, to me, be more impressive. I also feel you could have made a few more subtle connections to the topic.
I was really feeling the depth of Zygotes verse. You start off reading and the plot is like a double helix spiral staircase of raw intrigue. Best battle I've read so far this week, well done both of you
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04-11-2013, 01:05 AM
Hybrid Mode
