AOWL Week 8: Zenland (4-3) VS. TopicalDood5 (2-0) [TOPICALDOOD5 WINS, 7-0.]

zygote · 04-11-2013, 12:51 AM

Topicaldood5, strong rhyming stand out with interesting take on the selected topic. Production of rhythm through balance of the rhyme schemes, this was the difference to Zenlands rhyme schemes, both used good rhyme schemes, but Topicaldood5 used them to greater effect by using them more sparingly. Themes of the struggle to build something and also destruction were nicely contrasted.

Zenland enjoy use of the unreliable narrator, it is always good to deceive the reader like that, enjoyed the revelation at the end. Didn't enjoy language of the Dr. felt you needed to make it more stylistically mature to contrast more with the layman James character. As it stands they both had too similar of tone. If it were not for the italics (and content) it would be difficult to tell them apart (E.g., more lines like "Since then we've noticed progess" would be better. Misspelling of nauseous ruined the illusion.) Voted for Topicaldood5.

04-11-2013, 12:51 AM	#16
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	Topicaldood5, strong rhyming stand out with interesting take on the selected topic. Production of rhythm through balance of the rhyme schemes, this was the difference to Zenlands rhyme schemes, both used good rhyme schemes, but Topicaldood5 used them to greater effect by using them more sparingly. Themes of the struggle to build something and also destruction were nicely contrasted. Zenland enjoy use of the unreliable narrator, it is always good to deceive the reader like that, enjoyed the revelation at the end. Didn't enjoy language of the Dr. felt you needed to make it more stylistically mature to contrast more with the layman James character. As it stands they both had too similar of tone. If it were not for the italics (and content) it would be difficult to tell them apart (E.g., more lines like "Since then we've noticed progess" would be better. Misspelling of nauseous ruined the illusion.) Voted for Topicaldood5.