WK8: Pent uP (1-1) vs. Storyteller (1-1) [Pent uP wins, 6-0.]

Arid · 11-23-2014, 11:30 PM

Pent uP, your concept strayed a bit in the middle, though relevant in a way to your idealization of heaven, the matrix comparison jarred with the pic you chose. That said, your verse had a poignant edge throughout and a wry wisdom that, in the end, felt genuine and good-hearted. Hopeful. The rhyme and wording were pro.

Storyteller, this was a pretty abstract narrative. The wording in places stretched comprehensibility in favor of rhyme. I lost your character in trying to fit meaning to words in places. That said, the flow was consistent enough to hold my attention, and you had some lucid moments that stood out as good interpretations of the topic.

Vote-Pent. The consistent theme and poignant imagery made yours the more enjoyable read.

11-23-2014, 11:30 PM	#4
Arid HONGRY Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 57 Battle Record: 2-2 Rep Power: 0	Pent uP, your concept strayed a bit in the middle, though relevant in a way to your idealization of heaven, the matrix comparison jarred with the pic you chose. That said, your verse had a poignant edge throughout and a wry wisdom that, in the end, felt genuine and good-hearted. Hopeful. The rhyme and wording were pro. Storyteller, this was a pretty abstract narrative. The wording in places stretched comprehensibility in favor of rhyme. I lost your character in trying to fit meaning to words in places. That said, the flow was consistent enough to hold my attention, and you had some lucid moments that stood out as good interpretations of the topic. Vote-Pent. The consistent theme and poignant imagery made yours the more enjoyable read.