AOWL Week 8: Ink (3-1) VS. Vulgar (1-0) [VULGAR WINS, 7-4.]

Objective · 04-10-2013, 12:48 AM

Vulgar: As usual you present another beautiful piece rich of great imagery, metaphores and interesting ideas. The story was fluent and on point for me, the final lines of your piece really put a great closure to your verse. Didn't really like that your rhymes ended after 3 lines here and there, kinda stopped the ''natural'' flow a little bit for me. Beside of that I thought it was a magnificent verse.

Ink: Dude, punctuation man. No periods made me feel like I read on and on and on until I finally could catch a moment of breath before I died of asphyxiation. I'm exaggerating of course, but when there's a lack of punctuation I kinda end up reading along trying to get a flow that isn't there. I have to create my own flow and put commas, periods and shit here and there on my own, doing YOUR job.

Beside of that little thing wich kind of evens out Vulgars 3 line rhymes I find that you both are at a draw for the time being. But the more I read your verse I felt something was lacking but I can't exactly put my finger on it, whereas Vulgars verse seemed to give me something new I didn't give enough attention to during the first read-through.

Either way, both of you wrote a piece that was interesting enough to read twice or more. But the more I read each verse the more I felt the pieces were drifting apart from eachother making the final vote easier to do. As much as I'd like to see you go to a OT I realize that this isn't Grindtime nor a regular text-battle, and I have to pick a winner based on what I got.

And the final vote ended up going to Vulgar. Well done to both of you. Entertaining battle.

04-10-2013, 12:48 AM	#16
Objective ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,868 Battle Record: 17-32 Rep Power: 52474192	Vulgar: As usual you present another beautiful piece rich of great imagery, metaphores and interesting ideas. The story was fluent and on point for me, the final lines of your piece really put a great closure to your verse. Didn't really like that your rhymes ended after 3 lines here and there, kinda stopped the ''natural'' flow a little bit for me. Beside of that I thought it was a magnificent verse. Ink: Dude, punctuation man. No periods made me feel like I read on and on and on until I finally could catch a moment of breath before I died of asphyxiation. I'm exaggerating of course, but when there's a lack of punctuation I kinda end up reading along trying to get a flow that isn't there. I have to create my own flow and put commas, periods and shit here and there on my own, doing YOUR job. Beside of that little thing wich kind of evens out Vulgars 3 line rhymes I find that you both are at a draw for the time being. But the more I read your verse I felt something was lacking but I can't exactly put my finger on it, whereas Vulgars verse seemed to give me something new I didn't give enough attention to during the first read-through. Either way, both of you wrote a piece that was interesting enough to read twice or more. But the more I read each verse the more I felt the pieces were drifting apart from eachother making the final vote easier to do. As much as I'd like to see you go to a OT I realize that this isn't Grindtime nor a regular text-battle, and I have to pick a winner based on what I got. And the final vote ended up going to Vulgar. Well done to both of you. Entertaining battle.