AOWL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Frank (6-0) VS. zygote (5-1) [ZYGOTE WINS, 9-7.]

Soulstice · 04-09-2013, 05:07 PM

They did not see the value of paperclips over their false sense of entitlement.
hilarious
zygote - a smart piece about the ruthlessness of capitalism and the irreversibility of the draining of our natural resources. here we see just an annual report, but it is enough to realize that the cycle of profit in exchange for natural resources, human rights, etc. has went absolutely haywire to the point where multiple planets arebeing used to the benefit of paperclip manufacturers. who are they even selling to? it doesnt matter. design paper clips. sell paperclips. use profit to make more paperclips. paperclips. a fitting symbol for the ultimate ozymandian symbol of uselessness and infinite smallness. trade your morals, your childrens future, for a hummer? trade the galaxy for a paperclip. hilarious, smart, and well done, in my opinion

frank - a piece about finding the good in life even if you have nothing. use your talent and find your resolve. perhaps the polar opposite of what zygote wrote about. some slant rhymes here and there, overall technically sound. the images were good, but i think you got a little repetitive and mostly your story glazed over the surface of your concept a few times rather than digging for gold conceptually and image-atically (?). the tale was paced well, and your character was well developed but the piece ended on a rather predictable fade-out because of the rather simpler imagery and diction relating all back to the concept of love what you have. there were no real nuances between stanzas to me, i guess, is what it all comes down to. each could read as an almost-standalone piece and theyd all tell me the same thing

v - zygote for a really good piece this week

04-09-2013, 05:07 PM	#14
Soulstice native system Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 387 Battle Record: 18-21 Champed - Short-Verse Topical Rep Power: 4453411	They did not see the value of paperclips over their false sense of entitlement. hilarious zygote - a smart piece about the ruthlessness of capitalism and the irreversibility of the draining of our natural resources. here we see just an annual report, but it is enough to realize that the cycle of profit in exchange for natural resources, human rights, etc. has went absolutely haywire to the point where multiple planets arebeing used to the benefit of paperclip manufacturers. who are they even selling to? it doesnt matter. design paper clips. sell paperclips. use profit to make more paperclips. paperclips. a fitting symbol for the ultimate ozymandian symbol of uselessness and infinite smallness. trade your morals, your childrens future, for a hummer? trade the galaxy for a paperclip. hilarious, smart, and well done, in my opinion frank - a piece about finding the good in life even if you have nothing. use your talent and find your resolve. perhaps the polar opposite of what zygote wrote about. some slant rhymes here and there, overall technically sound. the images were good, but i think you got a little repetitive and mostly your story glazed over the surface of your concept a few times rather than digging for gold conceptually and image-atically (?). the tale was paced well, and your character was well developed but the piece ended on a rather predictable fade-out because of the rather simpler imagery and diction relating all back to the concept of love what you have. there were no real nuances between stanzas to me, i guess, is what it all comes down to. each could read as an almost-standalone piece and theyd all tell me the same thing v - zygote for a really good piece this week