AOWL Week 8: pohfig (4-1) VS. Red glare (4-2) [RED GLARE WINS, 7-5.]

[Matriarch]

Very impressive battle.

:: pohfig ::

Simply lovely.

Dug the poetry behind the concept.
I see this verse as a comparative audit between a series of interconnecting ideas: Age. Direction in life. Personal growth. Introvert/extroverted facade.
The strongest collision here exists between two runaway train of thoughts: What should or could be vs what is.
A somber notion that's all too familiar.

As far as technical goes, it was inspiring. Wonderful rhyming and word choice.

You can't fake the deceit - the alcohol muddles your judgement and sense
until your dressed in lies that tomorrows sun will undress.



:: Red glare ::

T'was a clinic on rhyming.
I can imagine the difficulty of keeping a single rhyme scheme for an entire verse. Very impressive effort despite a few instances of forced wording.

Loved the play on the topic.
I'll take it at face value and embrace the Superman concept - though i'm sure there is more at play here.

Problems? Certainly.
The focus here was clear. Unfortunately, impressive rhyming mechanics can only take you so far.
Much of the verse consists of descriptive language - possibly a mean to continue the rhyme scheme - however contributes very little to the overall dialogue.
Understanding the overall objective was to convey fear - as to, again, play to the topic given - I would stil say the effort was a little excessive.


Vote/pohfig. Rg had much style to his writing but pohfig had substance in addition. Certainly a contender for botw. lovely.

@King Keith @Split


:)