WK6: Defiant (3-1) vs Dominate (2-0) -- Dominate 7-0

Witty · 11-09-2014, 05:05 PM

Dominate - This is the second week in a row you've written what I believe to be the verse of the week, loved the story telling, the rhyming was as smooth as silk (or something less cliche) and your narrative was very impressive for such a short verse, to be able to fit a beginning, middle, and end in to such few lines is very difficult to master and you pulled it off, your language is very natural and opens your verse up to the reader, flowed perfectly, nothing confusing and nothing that upset the rhythm of the piece, I could tell you really took time to make sure everything was just right, dope shit dude.

Defiant - This was well written, you had some very vivid imagery and your use of emotional language was well received. I would have liked a little more background in the piece, a bit more of a narrative, but I realize that is very difficult to achieve in such a short piece (I struggled with it too) so I can't mark you down too much for that, your flow wasn't as good and as smooth as Dom's and your rhyming a little more basic, but I followed the piece well, I knew what was happening, I just wish I had more information as to why and where...good job tho man, short verses aren't gonna work for everyone.

Vote Dominate.

11-09-2014, 05:05 PM	#6
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	Dominate - This is the second week in a row you've written what I believe to be the verse of the week, loved the story telling, the rhyming was as smooth as silk (or something less cliche) and your narrative was very impressive for such a short verse, to be able to fit a beginning, middle, and end in to such few lines is very difficult to master and you pulled it off, your language is very natural and opens your verse up to the reader, flowed perfectly, nothing confusing and nothing that upset the rhythm of the piece, I could tell you really took time to make sure everything was just right, dope shit dude. Defiant - This was well written, you had some very vivid imagery and your use of emotional language was well received. I would have liked a little more background in the piece, a bit more of a narrative, but I realize that is very difficult to achieve in such a short piece (I struggled with it too) so I can't mark you down too much for that, your flow wasn't as good and as smooth as Dom's and your rhyming a little more basic, but I followed the piece well, I knew what was happening, I just wish I had more information as to why and where...good job tho man, short verses aren't gonna work for everyone. Vote Dominate. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.