WK6: Witty (3-1) vs UnbornBuddha (3-1) -- Witty 5-0

Zen · 11-08-2014, 05:33 PM

Buddha, I got to be honest with you, I really wasn't feeling this. The lines were way too stretched to maintain the flow and in some of the lines I didn't even know what you were talking about. Like the first line, "Reading this, and fully resonating with this passage his madness rushed ", what? "Madness rushed" is very forced. I understand forcing a multi to keep a rhyme going a little longer, but this is the opening line. You could've wrote anything instead of forcing something on us. I've seen much better from you.

Witty, sup brah? Dis was nice, specifically the "lose control of my mind" line. That line was brilliant, no exaggeration there. All of this was very well written and when I got to the last line I was like, DAYUM. Brutal ass shit. Cool story though, especially considering that its such a short verse. Dope. We should collab :):)

V/Witty

11-08-2014, 05:33 PM	#5
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	Buddha, I got to be honest with you, I really wasn't feeling this. The lines were way too stretched to maintain the flow and in some of the lines I didn't even know what you were talking about. Like the first line, "Reading this, and fully resonating with this passage his madness rushed ", what? "Madness rushed" is very forced. I understand forcing a multi to keep a rhyme going a little longer, but this is the opening line. You could've wrote anything instead of forcing something on us. I've seen much better from you. Witty, sup brah? Dis was nice, specifically the "lose control of my mind" line. That line was brilliant, no exaggeration there. All of this was very well written and when I got to the last line I was like, DAYUM. Brutal ass shit. Cool story though, especially considering that its such a short verse. Dope. We should collab :):) V/Witty