AOWL CHAMPIONSHIP: Certain (5-0) vs Mr. J (4-1) -- Certain 6-0

Vulgar · 11-08-2014, 02:58 PM

Mr. J - The way you write is reader friendly and you come off as genuine, this one just didn't capture me. For one, it was up in the air in terms of what your stance was on the open mic thing - yes, you love to write, which is why you write, so I wasn't getting why you seemed unsure or neutral at the end about the art of it. Searching for escapism in the immediate circumstances of the present as an interpretation of "the time is now" was sort of a pitfall for the piece, in my eyes. I was looking for more of a solid purpose.

Certain - Something photogenic from an apocalyptic standpoint. Fair use of imagery here. It displayed pleasantries but wasn't gushing with any goodness. "A wide grin" is a forced way of describing a happy, serene situation, IMO. Aside from that slight mismatch (just my preference) it was okay.

My vote goes to Certain. He made a definitive mark with his verse.

11-08-2014, 02:58 PM	#4
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Mr. J - The way you write is reader friendly and you come off as genuine, this one just didn't capture me. For one, it was up in the air in terms of what your stance was on the open mic thing - yes, you love to write, which is why you write, so I wasn't getting why you seemed unsure or neutral at the end about the art of it. Searching for escapism in the immediate circumstances of the present as an interpretation of "the time is now" was sort of a pitfall for the piece, in my eyes. I was looking for more of a solid purpose. Certain - Something photogenic from an apocalyptic standpoint. Fair use of imagery here. It displayed pleasantries but wasn't gushing with any goodness. "A wide grin" is a forced way of describing a happy, serene situation, IMO. Aside from that slight mismatch (just my preference) it was okay. My vote goes to Certain. He made a definitive mark with his verse.